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Chris Taylor’s eyebrows are the best thing the Dodgers have going for them in the World Series

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Which isn’t really saying something because their World Series is a huge bummer right now.

MLB: Colorado Rockies at Los Angeles Dodgers Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The DodgersWorld Series isn’t going so well, currently. In their second attempt in two years to end a decades-long World Series drought they are down two games to zilch to the Red Sox and their bats have looked mostly woeful for all but a few brief stretches of the early games. Even those stretches didn’t always result in runs.

With their championship hopes teetering in the edge of a cliff, in the hopes that three games in LA will give them a shot at coming back from two games down, it’s time to find silver linings for the Dodgers in this series. Which brings us to an outfielder who deserves to be applauded for something he brings to the field. Specifically, his eyebrows.

You maybe remember my previous foray into the world of really great eyebrows from this year’s Winter Olympics. I enjoy a good pair of eyebrows. When eyebrows are good — whether through hard work or being naturally blessed or both — it makes someone’s whole face look better. Not that Taylor needs help with that since he is an objectively attractive professional athlete.

Taylor has had a decent postseason. He made a lead-saving catch in NLCS Game 7, stretching in a way you wouldn’t expect from someone who normally plays shortstop. He’s hitting an aesthetically pleasing .300 in October with a .917 OPS, a home run, and three RBI.

But we’re here to talk about his eyebrows not his stat line. Because the eyebrows are so much better than the stat line. Before we get too into this, a brief moment to acknowledge that the rest of his facial hair is also good. Truly solid beard work that doesn’t look too over-groomed, and really compliments the eyebrows happening.

Because what eyebrows they are. They might not be the outright best eyebrows in baseball but they’re pretty good all around. A little bushy, almost exactly symmetrical, like the optimal version of Mia’s pre-makeover eyebrows in The Princess Diaries. They’re sculptural without looking sculpted.

MLB: NLCS-Milwaukee Brewers at Los Angeles Dodgers Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

They are a set of eyebrows for all seasons too. Here he is rocking Spring Training eyebrows and accessorizing them with the Spring Training uniforms and some old fashioned stirrups.

MLB: Spring Training-Los Angeles Angels at Los Angeles Dodgers Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

It’s a testament that in an in-game photo like this, which could be unflattering for just about anyone else, his eyebrows really draw your attention. They remain sharp, not overshadowed by the action of the photo of by the serious mouth clenching that’s happening as he makes whatever play he’s trying to make here.

It’s like his eyebrows can’t actually furrow, almost? That no matter how intense or concerned or surprised he gets the eyebrows stay in their natural, perfectly shaped state? That’s like a super power of some sort, right?

MLB: St. Louis Cardinals at Los Angeles Dodgers Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

He didn’t always rock them so well though. Back in college, or right when he entered the league with the Mariners, they overpowered his face a little. Here’s him in 2014, and the beard and the brows are not proportional. They’re too strong, and he doesn’t quite look like he’s ready to carry them just yet. That’s a Mariners-level eyebrow situation.

Seattle Mariners v Texas Rangers Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images

Back to what they look like now that he’s on the Dodgers though. Even from afar, they work. They stand out.

MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at San Diego Padres Orlando Ramirez-USA TODAY Sports

You don’t see them often without a helmet or a hat to play off of, but they work then too. Look at them complimenting his ripped jersey in the wake of a walk-off home run this season. it looks like like Cody Bellinger is celebrating the dinger in this picture, but he’s really looking at the brows.

MLB: Colorado Rockies at Los Angeles Dodgers Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Sometimes his helmet shapes them perfectly. Like in these next few photos, where his eyes are closed so the eyebrows can’t play off of his (also good) eyes. Yet they still shine. The helmet frames them just right, like a custom frame around a family portrait. Or in the dugout where his teammates are clearly high-fiving him for his exceptional eye roofs. The brim sits correctly on his head while still allowing the eyebrows to do their thing.

MLB: NLCS-Milwaukee Brewers at Los Angeles Dodgers Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports
MLB: Colorado Rockies at Los Angeles Dodgers Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Other times, the helmet that protects his head also blocks us from the brows. How dare it. Doesn’t it know how to balance its responsibilities with the importance of the brows? Sure, baseball is objectively the priority, but the eyebrows have their own audience. Maybe if MLB marketed to the eyebrow-loving crowd they’d have a lower average audience age than dead and a half years old. Think of the growth opportunities possible, baseball. And not just follicularly.

MLB: NLCS-Milwaukee Brewers at Los Angeles Dodgers Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

What does this have to do with sports? Guys, you don’t make an outfield catch like his NLCS heroics if you’re not confident as hell. That kind of confidence comes right from the eyebrows. With great brows come great assertiveness.