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This one surprising connection proves the Red Sox are going to win the World Series


Tampa Bay Rays v Boston Red Sox Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images

Before you read any further, I need to preface this extremely silly post by saying it’s easily the dumbest thing I’ve done on this website (and that includes the time I wrote about styles of clam chowder). So fair warning, I am aware how ridiculous this is and did it anyway. Welcome to Mondays!

Anyway, as you may or may not know this year’s Red Sox team is pretty good. Historically good, you could say. But they’re still the Red Sox which means that they still have fans yelling “J.D. MAHTINEZ WILL YUH MAHRRY ME!” during home games, as I witnessed recently. I promise this random person was not me, but I’ll also understand if you don’t believe me.

Anyway, after an undisclosed number of beers (three) and an uncountable number of people yelling player names in thick Boston accents, something struck me. You know that scene in Good Will Hunting where Will lists off all his brothers to prove to Skylar they’re real people (“I sweah to gawd, I sweah to gawd I’m lucky numbah 13”)?

Well after sitting through at least four people (OK, one of these was actually me I’ll admit it) screaming “HELL YAH MITCHIE” at Mitch Moreland, it dawned on me that you can do that with this Red Sox team too. See, look.

Good Will Hunting brothers:

Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.

Red Sox players:

Pedey, Mookie, Mitchie, Jackie, Sandy, Raffy, Matty, Ricky, Beni, Joey, JD, and Chris.

Say it out loud. It’s fun. I promise it’s fun. Maybe don’t say it out loud around other people, but that’s a life choice I’ll leave to your own judgement.

It’s been 20 years since Hunting won that surprise Oscar, so it’s only fair to assume this comparison means a Red Sox team with a bunch of obnoxiously Boston-sounding names will also win big. Aren’t you glad you read this post now?