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Meet Javale McGee's New Alter-Ego...

It's tough to strike the right tone here. On the one hand, nobody wants to mock the most emotionally fragile young star of their favorite team. On the other hand, certain things just cannot be ignored:


Indeed, Javale McGee would like to be called "Pierre" for the rest of the summer.

Almost like "The Jimmy" on Seinfeld, except instead of Jimmy saying, "Jimmy played pretty good," it's Javale saying:


Yes, Javale/Pierre is dead serious about this.


First of all, that's disgusting. Second, if we're talking in #3rdpersonflow, then we should again go to the Seinfeld example, and note that of any player in the NBA, Javale McGee would be most likely to wear Strength Shoes.

Want to know the difference between Javale and Pierre? Glad you asked:


...The monster stays on the court, you guys. Pierre's way more smooth:


But we're here to marvel, not mock. So say what you want, buy you could not possibly come up with a more Javale McGee-story than, "Invented an alter-ego that he called Pierre and began talking in the third person as said alter-ego."

I guess you could say it's creative, in the sense that nobody has ever thought to do something like that before. It's definitely goofy, because what self-respecting American would ever wanted to called "Pierre"? A little sad, maybe? And ultimately, it's completely shameless, but somehow utterly shameful. At least for Wizards fans.

So, yes. Creative, goofy, a little sad. Shameless, utterly shameful...

How have the Wizards not given Javale/Pierre a $70 million contract yet?

(HT: NBC Washington)