We're all friends here. We can talk. For as much crap as Shaquille O'Neal has always gotten for all of his ill-fated and highly cheeseball endeavors, from Kazaam to "Shaq-Fu" to verses with Fu-Schnickens to being bested in one-on-one by a (probably juicing) Aaron Carter, the insanely goofball nature of Shaq is precisely why we all love him. The advertising geniuses behind a new ad for a Chinese beer company understand this. Boy, do they ever understand it.
This video, which comes to us courtesy of Ball Don't Lie and Buzzfeed, is a pretty tremendous representation of Shaq. It is my sincere hope that in 20 years time, when you look up "Shaquille O'Neal" in whatever holographic space-dictionary we're all using at that time, you'll be treated to this video:
My favorite part (other than "the whole thing") is probably when Shaq is filled with glee at having won the (apparently enormous) bottle of beer and does a little dance, but then suddenly OH NO A TINY WOMAN HAS USURPED SHAQ'S BEER, but then right at the very last second it turns out there was beer for everyone all along. What a hilarious and fortunate turn of events!
Aspiring screenwriters, take note: this is how you build suspense and create a twist that everyone can appreciate. Boy wins beer, boy loses beer, boy finds out there was more beer the whole time. It's a classic formula. It's what makes Chinatown so good.