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Chris Paul Was Actually Hired As The Clippers' GM

Pay no attention to the previous news that the L.A. Clippers hired Gary Sacks to replace Neil Olshey as the team's general manager. Gary Sacks does not even exist. It's actually just one of Chris Paul's many pseudonyms. Check out how the Los Angeles Times' Ben Bolch describes the team's wooing of Matt Barnes.

Barnes was already in enemy territory a few weeks ago when he worked out with Paul at the Clippers' training facility.

"Chris Paul was talking about how tough we were going to be next year, assuming I was a Laker," Barnes said in a telephone interview. "I told him I was a free agent and he said, ‘No, you're about to be a Clipper.' "

So it was done. The Clippers did check with Blake Griffin, who had beef with Barnes last season (like roughly 50 other NBA players), to make sure it'd be OK to bring the salty midshipman into the fold. So Chris Paul is the GM ... and Blake is the assistant GM? Makes perfect sense.

(No, seriously. I would let Chris Paul run everything. Coaching staff, front office, sales, dance team. Everything.)