To celebrate the magnificent nationally televised battle between the 3-13 New York Knicks and the 5-13 Brooklyn Nets tonight, I threw together a short terrible rap about how they both suck. The lyrics are below.
Wassup to Brooklyn: all the scenesters and pretentious cuisiners
the over-caffeiners, oh and all the Nets with broken femurs
I'm meaner, obscener than Prospect Park's latrine cleaners' demeanors
Check the stats, are we sure Kevin and Jason don't have broken fingers?
Half your team's out of action in traction
And Jason's firing Frank as a welcome distraction
And you're ugly and you stink worse than the Gowanus
Might as well start Tornike, cuz regardless you're goners
Even if you're doing your job right, Dolan will have you laid off
I'm not sure there's any difference between him and Bernie Madoff
Both shittin ya and taking ya cash oh with such ease
Puttin holes in your bank account like it's swiss cheese
Now Bernie's convicted just staring at his own navel in prison
While Dolan gets lip service on his own Cablevision