NBA playoff schedule 2014, round 1: Rockets vs. Trail Blazers

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Dwight Howard's dorkiness or Robin Lopez' dorkiness. Who ya got?

How else do you define yourself as a fan if not through projecting a stereotype of your opponents, blanketing an enormous swath of folks with inaccurate generalizations? Right? Right!

HIPSTERS VS GREAT SOUTHERN RAPPERS LET'S GO

On one side of the ring, we have the Portland Trail Blazers, who are led by a duo of Damian Lillard and LaMarcus Aldridge and a wrecking crew of sharpshooters with Nic Batum, Wes Matthews and Mo Williams waiting in the wings.

On the other side, we have the Houston Rockets, who are led by their anchors, James Harden and Dwight Howard, with a focus on exploiting the long ball with Chandler Parsons and a plethora of folks who can drop the rock in from behind the arc.

Take your pick: the IPA-drinkers or the sizzurp-drinkers.

Game 1: Sunday, April 20
Portland Trail Blazers @ Houston Rockets, 9:30 p.m. EST on TNT

Game 2: Wednesday, April 23
Portland Trail Blazers @ Houston Rockets, 9:30 p.m. EST on TNT

Game 3: Saturday, April 25
Houston Rockets @ Portland Trail Blazers, 10:30 p.m. EST on ESPN

Game 4: Monday, April 27
Houston Rockets @ Portland Trail Blazers, 9:30 p.m. EST on TNT

Game 5: Wednesday, April 30 (if necessary)
Portland Trail Blazers @ Houston Rockets, TBD

Game 6: Friday, May 2 (if necessary)
Houston Rockets @ Portland Trail Blazers, TBD

Game 7: Sunday, May 4 (if necessary)
Portland Trail Blazers @ Houston Rockets, TBD

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