Detroit Pistons' forward Greg Monroe, who is facing a two-game suspension after NBA officials learned he pleaded guilty to impaired driving in April, "urinated on himself during the booking process," the Huntington Woods police report documenting his arrest says.
Driving drunk is bad. Your perception is altered and you're operating a motor vehicle that weighs more than a ton and can go 100 mph or more. This can and does kill people. And as such, there is a very strong deterrent on the books: if caught, you will get arrested, and you will get penalized.
Here is an additional deterrent: if you're drunk, there's a good chance you will need to pee. And if you're drunk and you drive, you could get arrested. And if you need to pee while you're arrested and do so on yourself, it will be a matter of public record. There will be irrefutable evidence that you peed yourself, and it will be admissible into a court of law. Everybody who wants to know whether you peed yourself -- be they friends, family, coworkers, reporters, fans, coaches, random Internet readers -- will be able to know for a fact that you peed yourself.
Think back to when you were eight years old. Can you think of anything worse than everybody in the world knowing that you peed yourself? I don't think so.
Don't drink and drive, folks.