Here's a 2016 NBA mock draft in haiku form

Hello! Welcome, y'all,
to our NBA mock draft
written in haiku.

Well, yes -- bad haiku.
Technically it's senryu.
(Sen-RY-u? SEN-ryu?) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Picks one through 14,
total guesses, no info.
What more could you want?

How our order's set:
reverse standings on Tuesday.
Haiku takes some time!

Let's get it started.
All y'alls patience wanes, it's clear.
Dearest friends: let's mock.

1. Sixers: Ben Simmons, LSU

Disappointment? Sure.
Ben failed to make LSU
great again. And yet ...

Can you blame him for
the absurd tire fire
that was the Tigers?

In the NBA,
he'll have more talent around.
Well, 'cept in Philly.

2. Lakers: Brandon Ingram, Duke

O! Just imagine --
picture the Lakers losing
their pick in this draft!

The poor get poorer?
No, that could never happen.
The Lakers NEED it.

That said, 10 bucks says
they ask about the bro code
at the draft combine.

Want to be the pick?
Renounce social media
and keep your nose clean.

3. Suns: Henry Ellenson, Marquette

Huge dude, and nimble.
Prototype smallball center ...
if he has the skills.

4. Celtics (via Nets): Jakob Poeltl, Utah

Boston's got to go
big here, right? So many guards!
(Psst, this is trade bait.)

5. Wolves: Jamal Murray, Kentucky

Murray? Shooters shoot.
Lord knows the Wolves need shooting.
(No offense, Shabazz.)

Murray or Buddy?
An interesting choice here.
Youth wins out, I think.

6. Pelicans: Buddy Hield, Oklahoma

Buddy time! Oh yeah!
These dudes sound like a cop team:
Buddy and the Brow.

N.O. needs help now --
patience is no longer there.
Age is, here, a pro.

7. Kings: Dragan Bender, Bosnia and Herzegovina

Peja and Vlade
are personally picking
dude up in Europe.

He doesn't quite fit,
but that's not stopped Sac before.
Plus, his name's Dragan.

8. Nuggets (via Knicks): Jaylen Brown, Cal

He's raw like sushi
but so was E. Mudiay.
Denver ain't afraid.

9. Raptors (via Nuggets by way of Knicks): Ivan Rabb, Cal

Mago Bargnani:
the gift that keeps on giving.
And Rabb? Dope as hell.

The Raps already
have big men projects, but you
can't have too many.

10. Bucks: Kris Dunn, Providence

Greek Freak at point guard?
You need to get him some help.
Dunn fits the Bucks' mold.

11. Magic: Marquese Chriss, Washington

It's Sactown's finest,
and I'm not joking this time.
This ain't no Matt Barnes.

Chriss is the future
in the sense that he is big,
skilled and athletic.

12. Suns (via Wizards): Denzel Valentine, Michigan State

Suns got all these picks
but yet not too many holes.
Time for a big trade?

Superskilled two guard,
fills up the box score real well.
A nice pick for all.

13. Rockets: Skal Labissiere, Kentucky

Time to replace Dwight.
Skal isn't gonna do it.
Here? A value pick.

14. Bulls: Timothe Luwawu, France

I'm not gon' pretend
I know anything about
Timmy Luwawu.

DX says he's good.
Chad Ford also says he's good.
Good enough for me.

* * *

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