The world’s biggest NBA fan, Drake, got to host the NBA Awards. How fitting. He also gave the most awkward monologue ever heard before an award show.
To help you enjoy it, we are here ranking his jokes from not so bad to worst.
10. “Draymond Green stopped kicking people in the groin and moved onto something much worse, his own podcast.”
This is the only joke I audibly laughed at.
9. “[New York] is the city that never sleeps, mostly because everyone that lives here is afraid of being traded.”
Sorry, Kristaps. Sorry, Melo.
8. On being a bandwagon fan: “I have two teams: one from my hometown and whoever else is winning at the current time.”
He had to address it at some point. Go Raptors.
7. On the Warriors’ and Cavs’ dominance: “I’m just glad that people aren’t as critical of dominance in other professions cause I never want my doctor to be like, ‘You know what Imma go ahead and mess this one up so no one thinks that I’m too good. I don’t wanna save every life. Gotta be humble.”
A little too long, but still kind of funny.
6. “LeBron James recently went bald and social media went — *squints at teleprompter* Oh sorry, this is a joke from 2007.”
He’s got a point here.
5. “While we’re on the topic of Instagram, I just wanna say it’s a bit of an awkward vibe tonight. I gotta say, I’ve never been in the same room as so many guys who have DM’d my ex girl. There’s a lot of DPs sent to that inbox man, y’all are some dogs.”
Rihanna, I am cringing for you girl.
4. “We got Allen Iverson here somewhere probably on a super casual vibe just reconnecting with some old friends.”
Ha ha ha.
3. On Paul Pierce’s retirement: “Fans were shocked, as they were under the assumption he left 10 years ago.”
Too soon!
2. On Isaiah Thomas: “Isaiah is the latest to grace the cover of ESPN’s ‘body everyone has’ issue. It’s not an abnormally athletic back. Like I have that back, French Montana has that back ... it’s just a regular back.”
Kind of long? Not that funny?
1. “Rookie Markelle Fultz says he almost signed with Big Baller Brand before he eventually signed with Nike. When asked what changed his mind, Fultz said, ‘I went to college.’”
Oof.