NBA and WNBA players, along with ESPN, tried really hard to give us some new sports to talk about while the world remains in quarantine due to the spread of Covid-19. They really did. But a pre-recorded game of HORSE was really, really tough to watch.
HORSE in general isn’t too exciting. To make matters worse, the quality of the broadcast was horrendous. The videos lagged due to internet cutouts and shook because of the wind on the outdoor courts. Of course, that’s to be expected as nobody was prepared for a situation like this. It’s nobody’s fault.
But hell, it was funny.
Here are the eight HORSE competitors, ranked by quality of internet.
8. Trae Young
Young filmed himself with a potato. There’s no other way to describe it. The camera lagged and the wind rattled in each frame. Was he on a sidekick 3? I have no idea.
Please get better internet, Trae.
Did I mention he also blew a 3-0 letter lead?
trae young blows 3-0 lead in horse tournament, loses to chauncey billups in opening round— SB Nation (@SBNation) April 12, 2020
(very serious tweet) pic.twitter.com/kBIIfTtnt7
Twitter was relentless:
Trae young when he hits a deep 3 in HORSE pic.twitter.com/inUZCxpIc2— fucksallad (@fucksallad) April 12, 2020
Trae Young being filmed rn like: pic.twitter.com/Usqb3ZyxW0— Samuel Shin (@shinsanityyyy) April 12, 2020
This is what Trae Young’s camera man is using pic.twitter.com/t1mvrUkiMA— Charles Dickey (@stickydickey1) April 12, 2020
7. Tamika Catchings
Catchings was shooting out in the wind on a cold Indiana day, so that camera was WHIPPING. She propped it up on a ladder, and it was not great.
6. Chauncey Billups
Lag city! Billups had the benefit of being the better half against Young at least.
5. Paul Pierce
Pierce’s stream wasn’t anything special, but he didn’t come out with a camcorder or like binoculars, and he didn’t make a dad joke? So that’s a win. We’ll give him fifth.
the best part of HORSE has been watching the kid behind paul pierce spin to the point of stumbling pic.twitter.com/2nje7tVu1f— Ashley Young (@young_ashleye) April 13, 2020
4. Chris Paul
Paul had his son, Chris Jr., out to do interviews and even shared an AirPod with him. That’s high-tech for dads! He had two cameras working, too.
3. Zach LaVine
LaVine had a steady stream, and a partner to record closer to the rim to prove he touched the rim on trick shots. It was pretty smooth!
2. Allie Quigley
Quigley had her wife and fellow All-Star Chicago Sky guard, Courtney Vandersloot, shooting on a second camera, to give another angle. Genius. Excellent marital and basketball chemistry.
We thank you, Sloot.
NBA HORSE Challenge @alliequigley knocks down the Pistol Pete Maravich homage‼️— NBA (@NBA) April 13, 2020
She leads @CP3 H-O to H in Round 1 of the NBA Horse Challenge presented by State Farm on ESPN. pic.twitter.com/TDnnPFqTRN
1. Mike Conley
Conley cheated, I swear. He was the only player to shoot INDOORS! What a ridiculous advantage both in the shooting competition, and internet competition.