The NBA Bubble has worked to perfection so far. After several weeks in the bubble on Disney World property, there continue to be zero positive cases in what appears to be a pretty safe environment. As we near the playoffs though, the NBA released the rules for players to allow friends and family into the bubble after the first round of the playoffs.
- Four guests per player, but that number can be exceeded for children.
- Guests can travel on team charters following testing.
- Guests will be allowed to attend games.
What is a ‘guest?’ The NBA defines guests as “family and established longstanding personal friends,” per ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowksi.
So who is not allowed? According to the memo: agents, trainers, physical therapists, personal chefs and tattoo artists to name a few.
But here is where it gets funny. Each player is allowed one ticket per playoff game for a guest, plus an additional admission for a child (32 inches and below). The Disney jumped right out of the NBA memo and gave a height requirement. The 32 inches sparked a wild debate on Twitter.
the nba is allowing children 32 inches and below into the bubble and twitter is debating just how tall that actually is pic.twitter.com/PgJqUmQrcW— Jordan Heck (@JordanHeckFF) August 12, 2020
Anyway, since the NBA got Disney-fied and put height requirements on attending games like it’s a ride at the Magic Kingdom, I decided to ... rank rides by NBA toddler height at the Magic Kingdom.
I took my own liberties for what is deemed a “ride.” Disney includes a much longer list on their website that I assume is just for legal reasons. It’s also not clear if the kids will have any access to the parks while in the bubble, but that doesn’t matter here.
There are some rides that are too tall for NBA toddlers
Right out of the gate, NBA toddlers are out on a lot of great rides. In terms of rollercoasters, we are going to go 0-for-5. But it’s okay, since there is still a lot of fun to be had around the Magic Kingdom.
Space Mountain – Guests must be 44 inches or taller
Splash Mountain – Guests must be 40 inches or taller
Seven Dwarfs Mine Train – Guests must be 38 inches or taller
The Barnstormer – Guests must be 35 inches or taller
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad – Guests must be 40 inches or taller
Now for The Official NBA toddler Disney Ride Ranking
18. The Hall of Presidents – Any height
I hear Trump speak enough as it is. I don’t need him in my Disney experience too.
17. Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress – Any height
This is a Disney-fan favorite ride that goes through technological advances through time and I just cannot get into it. I sleep through it every time.
16. Under the Sea ~ Journey of the Little Mermaid – Any height
This ride is fairly new and honestly I was so disappointed in it. It’s nothing special and is worse than similar rides like Pirates or Haunted Mansion that were created 40 years before it. Disney really mailed it in on such a classic movie and you truly hate to see it. Ariel deserved so much more.
15. Prince Charming Regal Carousel – Any height
I never understand why kids line up to ride a basic carousel at Disney World, but hey, whatever. I get that a lot of rides at Disney are “basic” but this a carousel.
14. - 10. Astro Orbiter, “it’s a small world”, The Magic Carpets of Aladdin, Peter Pan’s Flight, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh – Any height
These are all interchangeable and don’t do much for me. I know to most people think Magic Kingdom is only for kids, but on another day the Lopez brothers and I can explain how to have fun there as an adult. That said, these rides take up the prime “kids” section of the park. Get near any of these rides and you’ll lose an ankle to a stroller.
9. Tomorrowland Speedway – Guests must be 32 inches (82 centimeters) or taller
Race some cars around a track. Bump into cars not going fast enough. Kids love it.
8. Dumbo the Flying Elephant – Any height
This ride is so basic and truly meant for toddlers but it’s oddly kind of magical to experience one of the most iconic rides in the park.
7. Mad Tea Party – Any height
The spinning saucers? Classic. If Disney is ever allowed to have their Halloween parties again, I highly recommend doing it under special Halloween lighting.
6. Jungle Cruise – Any height
Come for the dad jokes delivered by the Skipper driving your boat.
5. Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin – Any height
Nothing better than shooting a laser gun at targets and trying to beat a stranger’s high score. There is a better version of this ride at Hollywood Studios called Toy Story Mania which hurts the ranking here a bit.
4. Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover – Any height
The PeopleMover is exactly what it sounds like. You sit in a little car that rides above Tomorrowland and get a tour of that portion of the park. You ride through Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear as previously mentioned, and get beautiful glimpses of Cinderella’s castle. If you ride it during the fireworks, you’ll see the fireworks show while you ride. And if you ask, you don’t have to get out of the car. As long as it’s not super busy, you can ride this ride for as long as you want. It’s the most relaxing thing I’ve ever done.
3. Mickey’s PhilharMagic – Any height
If you grew up on ‘90s Disney movies, this is the place for you. It’s a 4-D (yes it has smells!) ride that takes you through Fantasia, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Lion King, Aladdin, and Peter Pan. It literally plays all the hits while in a 4-D, air conditioned experience.
2. Haunted Mansion – Any height
Purely classic. The dancing ghosts in the ballroom. The song “Grim Grinning Ghosts” that will be stuck in your head for hours. The hitchhiking ghosts at the end that put a ghost right in the seat next to you. Perfect.
1. Pirates of the Caribbean – Any height
Look, the top three rides here are pretty interchangeable but there is just something so perfect about Pirates. It’s the ride that inspired the movies, that then inspired the ride. You get a mix of the old classic with a new Johnny Depp spin. It never, ever gets old. The true definition of timeless.