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Virginia Tech's Lunch Pail: College Football Is Weird, Vol. 1,683

During the broadcast of Saturday's Virginia Tech-Boston College game, some attention was given to Virginia Tech's lunch pail. This, apparently, is the idea:

Every day [defensive tackle John Graves] walks off the practice field he carries a lunch pail, an honor bestowed on him by the defensive coaching staff, acknowledging his status as the unquestioned chief of the Hokies' defense.

Problem: it is not a pail at all!


Of all the inane trinkets that are lugged around by college football teams (pretty sure it's all just crap they took out of my grandpa's basement; only a matter of time before some FCS rivalry bowl uses his vintage collectible can of Billy Beer as a trophy), this might be the most mailed-in. First, though, to address what a pail is and isn't:

I know that if you look up "lunch pail" on Google images, you will see pictures of lunch boxes. Pails are buckets that may or may not have a handle. I will argue this point for hours and hours and I will win, if not by logic, then by attrition.

Now to address this lunch box that they are calling a pail. Why is it an honor to carry around? How does dragging around a lunch box signify leadership or authority?

As if this weren't underwhelming enough, someone has taken the liberty of painting the words "WIN" and "TEAM" on it. If a lunch box did not helpfully remind them, would the Hokies forget that they are a team and that they are expected to win?

Look, if they would make noon games more worthy of attention, we wouldn't have to talk about things like this.

Read more about Virginia Tech at our Hokies blog, Gobbler Country.