No, really, America: please stop your kindly offers. Bob Stoops will not accept the 2004 BCS national title. There's no word on whether this is because Stoops still has flashbacks from the 36-point beatdown administered by the now non-existent 2004 USC Trojans -- one of the biggest flops in the long and storied tradition of BCS championship game flops -- or because two other teams managed to finish the season undefeated after actually showing up for their bowl games.
↵But Oklahoma will not claim the championship as its own. (What do you mean, no one was offering it?)