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SMU's New Locker Rooms Do, In Fact, Look A Little Sexy

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Okay, so it's not as sexy as it looks. After all, it's just SMU's locker new locker room, an impressive modern facility the school needs to compete in the ever-expanding recruiting wars in Texas. Their new, 21st century locker room. Which has a glittery pony on the ceiling. And sensual red lighting. And a DJ in the back yelling out "JUNE JONES TO THE MAIN STAGE LET'S WELCOME JUNE JONES." And a lot of guys who look like bouncers, actually.

Okay, SMU better have a bar in there with reasonably priced drinks and friendly service, or else this is the world's worst strip club, and especially so when the linemen start prepping for their post-practice hose-off by getting naked and walking around the place like old men at your gym in search of an unoccupied hand dryer to point at their netherparts. Who's hungry for lunch? No one after that? Never say we didn't contribute to the fight against obesity in America.