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Stephen Garcia Taking Archery, Navy SEALs Classes At South Carolina This Fall

South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia is a fifth-year senior, and that means that he's likely got enough credits under his belt to take fun elective classes this fall during football season. So, according to Travis Haney of the Charleston Post and Courier, he's taking a Navy SEALs warfare class and archery.

Big East Coast Bias' Mark Ennis suggests that the jokes write themselves. Oh, they do.

Stephen Garcia is taking archery because he really wants to be Napoleon Dynamite someday.

Stephen Garcia is taking archery because he heard Ashley Judd likes archery.

Stephen Garcia is taking archery because he really wants to "do that apple on the head trick."

Stephen Garcia is taking archery because Steve Spurrier forbid him from taking mixology.

Stephen Garcia is taking archery because he thinks South Carolina is filming an episode of Community and just knows that Abed is into archery.

Stephen Garcia is taking a Navy SEALs class because he thought it was actually about going clubbing with baby seals.

Stephen Garcia is taking a Navy SEALs class because of a deep and abiding interest in American military history.

Stephen Garcia is taking a Navy SEALs class and an archery class because he wants to kill Osama bin Laden. With an arrow. (Shhh.)

Stephen Garcia is taking a Navy SEALs class and an archery class because it really doesn't matter what classes he takes this fall, and those two sounded like more fun than the rest of the electives in the South Carolina course catalog. (Wait, that's not a joke.)

Stephen Garcia is taking a Navy SEALs class and an archery class because he will one day have to compete with Ricky Stanzi in the Quien Es Mas Americano Juegos. These will be held in Mexico after the complete collapse of the American financial system. Garcia was warned of this future by a bottle of tequila.