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Kellen Moore Chose Columbus Over Shakespeare, Revealing So Much About Himself

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Thanks to Senior Bowl week, we've learned two things about departing Boise St. Broncos quarterback Kellen Moore: first, he's not very tall. This has been repeated many times, and will continue to be repeated. His lack of height must be stressed.

Second, he'd rather meet Christopher Columbus than William Shakespeare. He was polled on his stance by a NFL scout, and, believe it or not, that's not the most outlandish question we'll hear about a NFL Draft prospect being asked in the coming weeks.

There is plenty our scout was able to learn about Moore as a NFL prospect from his answer, however. A peek inside his notebook:

  • Moore was impressed with way Columbus repeatedly claimed someone else's land for mother Spain. Will be solid in road games.
  • Doesn't want to meet Shakespeare since there's no way Shakespeare was just one person. Has problems dealing with multiple pass rushers.
  • Expects praise for doing things the Vikings already did many times before. Will lose a Super Bowl.
  • Appreciates Columbus' skills as a destroyer of entire people groups. Is winner.
  • Does not believe all's well that ends well. Is not winner.
  • "Thou wouldst as soon go kindle fire with snow/ As seek to quench the fire of love with words." Dunno, seems like he'd suck in cold weather?
  • Likes how Columbus spread disease throughout the Caribbean. Is locker room cancer.
  • Disapproves of Shakespeare's adaptations of so many previous works. Will refuse to learn pro-style playbook.
  • Should probably definitely not play for the Redskins ever because whoa that's already an unacceptable team name, and I'm just a simple NFL scout.
  • Values Columbus for leading 1492 fleet despite being fleet's least-experienced captain. Day-one starter.
  • "That light we see is burning in my hall. How far that little candle throws his beams!" Does not have surprising arm strength.
  • Admires Columbus' ship-straining hauls of stolen gold for mother Spain. Will be a headache come contract time.
  • Has no regard for Shakespeare's 154 sonnets. Will struggle with NFL verbiage.
  • If he likes the sea so much, maybe he should just go play for the Seahawks /pouts.