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ESPN Loses Lawsuit To Texas, And Other Complex College Football Legal Action

Did you know ESPN has had a two-year-long lawsuit against the University of Texas? While that's mind-blowing enough, seeing as the two have formed a business together (the Longhorn Network) during the middle of a suit, it goes even further. Television networks have been accused of running conference realignment, even by athletic directors themselves, and the suit was over realignment documents Texas was withholding from ESPN. Skull completely shattered right now!

(Texas won, by the way.)

However, this is not the only head scratcher of a legal act that could ever strike college football. Some hypotheticals:

  • Tom Brady sues the NCAA in order to enter the NFL Draft early, citing the Maurice Clarett precedent. (Tom Brady has a very bad legal team.)
  • Todd Graham just keeps yelling, "EVERYTHING IS ADJOURNED!"
  • Baylor sues Colorado for breaking up the Texas conference.
  • Derek Dooley, asked for legal advice, responds with, "I'm not a lawyer, but ... " (Derek Dooley is a lawyer.)
  • Baylor sues the Big 12 for accepting Baylor instead of TCU.
  • Randy Edsall sues his dreams for leading him to this place.
  • Inspired by Ed O'Bannon's efforts, animated sprites from college football video games somehow raise a 16-bit claim of their own against the NCAA.
  • Baylor sues the ACC for excluding some sort of non-Big 12 version of Baylor.
  • Nick Saban claims Georgia and Mississippi as his common-law recruiting states.
  • Lane Kiffin gets BAD FAITH tattooed on his knuckles, 'cause it's awesome.
  • West Virginia sues its own Big East lawsuit. The lawsuit is represented by a hardy whitewater rafting guide.
  • Steve Sarkisian gets EXECUTOR tattoo, citing awesome precedent.
  • Baylor sues Baylor.
  • Jim Mora gets GAG ORDER tattoo, and is doing it wrong.
  • Mike Leach is fired over ridiculous charges made by a television personality, then goes and gets a possibly better job while said television personality loses a United States Senate race to seven other living humans, one dead human, a turtle and a handful of laundry detergent. (Mike Leach is also a lawyer.) (This one is almost completely real.)
  • Mark Richt just likes the part about "act of God."
  • The Big 12 sues the SEC into giving back Mizz-HA HA HA HA HA HA
  • Alabama goes a year without suing anybody.