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When God Tells You To Light A Fire With Your Blunt, Maybe Don't Do That

Here is your lede of the year, from the (Spokane) Spokesman-Review:

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A pro football player who lept from his burning third-floor apartment in Liberty Lake Thursday said he started the blaze with a marijuana blunt because God told him to, authorities say.
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The player in question is Kevin Ellison. He played under Pete Carroll at USC, was a sixth-round pick of the Chargers in 2009, and is now with the Spokane Shock. That is probably not what he will be remembered for, given that he's now facing a federal arson charge.