The Green Bay Packers take on the Chicago Bears at 3 p.m. EST to decide the NFC Champion and determine which team will play in the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Minnesota Vikings fans, who watched their own team fall short on this same stage last season, will have to sit back and watch one of their two bitter rivals claim victory.
That doesn't mean Minnesotans can't pick favorites. One bar owner in St. Paul is throwing his support behind the Packers by doing the most logical, sane thing one could think of. He's going to roast a bear. An actual bear.
Blake Montpetit, the co-owner of Tiffany Sports Lounge in St. Paul, says he plans to cook a 180-pound black bear in a pig-roaster over hickory and charcoal on Sunday. He says his cousin shot it in northern Wisconsin during bear hunting season, which runs in September and October, and then froze it.
Wait a second, it's a Wisconsin bear? Don't we have to assume it was a Packers fan then? Or do we assume that it rooted for the bears because it was an actual bear? Do all bears root for the Chicago Bears? Do all dolphins root for the Miami Dolphins? We're officially falling down the rabbit hole, people...
The obvious question is, will people be eating said bear? The answer is no. The state health department stepped in and said the bar cannot serve the meat since it's "unprocessed." Because as well all know, one shouldn't ingest bear meat until it's full of high fructose corn syrup and yellow dye No. 3 to make it "better."
Instead, you can merely have your picture taken next to the dead bear.