Chad Ochocinco, Tedy Bruschi, And The Dumbest Controversy Ever

As Tom Brady and the Patriots dismantled the Miami Dolphins Monday night, you might not have noticed that Chad Ochocinco only had one catch for 14 yards. Not that it mattered to Ochocinco. Afterward, he took to Twitter, and instead of complaining, he was just glad to be part of such a great team.

No controversy, right? No upset receiver? No me-first diva sabotaging a big win? But hang on--Tedy Bruschi just walked in, and things are about to get really insane.

Courtesy of Tom Curran at Comcast New England, here's Bruschi. You can't tell me he didn't put sarcastic air quotes around "Ocho" at the start here. DROP THE AWE FACTOR, OKAY?

"Drop the awe factor, OK, Ocho, Chad,  drop the awe factor. You're not a fan, all right? You're not someone who's on another team or watching TV. You're not an analyst. You're a part of it. They want you to be a part of it. So get with the program because obviously you're not getting it and you're tweeting because you're saying, 'It's amazing to see'? It's amazing to see because you don't understand it! You still don't understand it and it's amazing to you because you can't get it.

"Stop tweeting and get in your playbook. Wake up! If you're just waking up now - I don't know when this was, six minutes ago? - get out your bed and get to the stadium and watch some film if you still think its amazing. If you're in it and you know what you're doing and you execute out there you don't think it's amazing. You know why? Because it's what you're supposed to do. All of a sudden it's second nature. 'I know i was supposed do that, yes I went 99 yards, I threw for 517 you know why? Because we're that good and that's what we're supposed to do and that's what I thought we were gonna do.'  You are still in awe to be a member of the New England Patriots offense. Join the system, buddy. "

Holy s**t. Even by the elastic standards of insane NFL analysis, this might be the dumbest thing anyone has ever said about anyone. "Stop tweeting and get in your playbook"? What is this, a parody of sports talk radio? The only thing it's missing is Bruschi asking more rhetorical questions. "Does Wes Welker tweet? Did he think it was so crazy? DIDN'T THINK SO."

"Close your mouth. Put your hand under your chin and close your jaw. Then open your eyes and watch some film. That's what you need to do. If you're still in awe that means you don't get it because you don't understand it."

Really: Didn't Chad basically say it was great to be part of great win?

Was there some other tweet that we missed?

No?

Okay then. LET'S KILL HIM ANYWAYS. LONG LIVE WES WELKER!