As an extremely intelligent debate recently reminded us, contemporary Americans are somewhat litigious in nature. Many of us will watch an infomercial or read about an invention and grouse, "Aw, I could have invented that!" and curse our fool luck that we never went to the patent office when we got the idea for the Slap-Chop while eating a bucket of fried chicken (or whatever, I'm just speaking hypothetically). But it is the true trailblazers who will sue someone who they feel has stolen their intellectual property. Today, we salute one of those individuals.
This news comes to us via @PaulD_Anderson. A plaintiff in Florida is suing the Jacksonville Jaguars over claims that the team stole his idea and design for a "three-point stand" that is used as a tee of sorts for kickers to practice field goal kicks on the sidelines. You've almost certainly seen players using some sort of tee to kick into a net during games in order to warm up.
A three-page document has been filed at a Jacksonville district court and this enterprising individual -- we'll just call him "Johnnie N. Perry" -- is representing himself in this tricky legal scuffle. Take a look at the impeccably-typed first page and see if you can tell.
via Scribd
What can we learn about the plaintiff from this document? Well, we know first of all that he owns a typewriter, but not a computer. We can further assume that he had only one piece of paper to work with, given the amount of "corrections" made on the fly. He also appears to be technically filing for "COPRIGHT INFRINGEMENTU" which may not be the same thing as copyright infringement. Hopefully he didn't accidentally begin a case about something having to do with police rights.
We also know that his skills as a copy editor are not exactly "tip-top" as he corrected one misspelling of "plaintiff" (via pen) but let two instances of "PALINTIFF" slip through. Maybe he's talking about something else there, though. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Also, in the second item there, he makes a reference to DEF_E ENDANTS, which was probably the most underrated act during the New Jack Swing era of R&B.
This is pretty damning stuff against the Jaguars, though. I don't know how they're going to respond to the allegations that the plaintiff "ASK THE DEFENDANTS TO BY ONE A THREE POINT STANDS AND HANDDELEVER TO THE N.F.L. KICKER AND TEAM." Seems pretty cut and dry to me.
Perry also included a photograph of the three-point stand in question:
via Scribd
I'm not super-clear on how "points" work (I'm neither a lawyer nor a football player, after all) but I'm pretty sure that's only two points: the top and the bottom. But I'll leave that little detail up to the PALINTIFF and the courts to hash out.
But hopefully all parties can come to a speedy resolution. Only time will tell whether the case works out in favor of Perry and the court rules that, indeed, "THE THREE POINT STANDS WAS INVENTION THE PALINTIFF INVENTION THE THREE POINT STANDS."
We wish Perry all the luck in the world and hope he wins the "5.000.000.million." he seeks.