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What is Alex Smith doing right now? Jan. 25

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It's a lazy Friday at the Smith household. The erstwhile 49ers quarterback has decided to try his hand at the "celebrity cookbook" racket.

The cover image for "Alex Smith's Starting Quarterback Food-Eatin's"
The cover image for "Alex Smith's Starting Quarterback Food-Eatin's"
Ron Chenoy-US PRESSWIRE

Alex Smith's Starting Quarterback Eatin's

by Alex Smith, quarterback

Best Breakfast Ever!

3 pancakes

4 eggs (scrambled)

Orange juice (for vitamins)

Those hash browns where the potatoes are skinny little strips

Enough bacon so that I'm full

Serves: One very hungry quarterback! Yum! Just like Mama Smith still makes!

The Play Action Pro Bowl Sandwich

- Start with two pieces of whole wheat bread (either toasted or just bread)

- Spread both pieces of bread with mayonnaise (only one side of each piece, though!)

- Place two slices of Oscar Meyer bologna onto the bottom slice of bread (on the mayo side)

- Cut up some chunks of carrot (good for the eyesight!). Don't worry if they're super thick. You want to really taste the carrot

- Put carrot on top of bologna

- Put top bread (mayo side DOWN) onto carrots

- Mash the top bread down onto the rest of the sandwich. You should have some of the carrots punch through the bread. That's what you want. The carrot is nature's toothpick

- You're done! Try the "Sandwich Attempt!"

- It's good!

Mama Smith's Famous Football Fries

- Cut up a potato into fries shapes

- Put some vegetable oil in a pan and heat it up

- Place the fries into the oil inside of the pan

- Cook until fries

The Quarterback Sack!

It's a bag of chips

The Jim Harbaugh

A BIG LYING BOWL OF CRAP