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You should bet on the 2013 Super Bowl following the exact plan I've crafted for you below. This is because I am a gambling expert who will make you money by accident. You can be sure of my credentials because I am a sharp who wins units.
The most basic idiot can make money betting on which team will win and by how many points. Our good friends at Bovada have compiled prop bets for the more advanced moneymakers among us, such as me. To find them, click here and skim past all the boring stuff.
Note: for actual gambling insights on actual gambling, visit OddsShark's Super Bowl page.
Will Alicia Keys be booed during or after her rendition of the US National Anthem?
YOUR BET: Yes +500
Social feedback is necessary when someone does something wrong. Alicia Keys is likely to set a girl on fire. That's wrong.
Will Alicia Keys add at least 1 NEW word to the official US National Anthem?
YOUR BET: Yes +200
Alicia Keys will add two words: "New York."
How many times will Jay-Z be shown on TV during the game?
YOUR BET: Over 1/2
Just because it's really great we're even being asked this.
Will any Baltimore of San Francisco Player on active roster be arrested before Super Bowl XLVII?
YOUR BET: Yes +500
As an Atlanta Falcons fan, I assume this happens just before the coin flip of each Super Bowl.
Will any player get a penalty for excessive celebration in the game?
YOUR BET: Yes +225
"Randy Moss is in this game, so of course!" No. It's Sam Koch.
What Color will the Gatorade (or liquid) be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team?
YOUR BET: Freaked out by (or liquid)
Who will the Super Bowl MVP of the Game thank first?
YOUR BET: Does Not Thank Anyone 9/4
Without taking his helmet off, Aldon Smith will sprint to Disney World and find a bench to sit on quietly.
If Ray Lewis is interviewed on TV after the game on the field or in the locker room how many times will he mention "God/Lord"?
YOUR BET: Over, don't even care what the number is
Is this a trick question? OVER.
How long will the post game handshake/hug last between Jim & John Harbaugh?
YOUR BET: Under 7.5 seconds -120
No Harbaugh has ever touched another person for more than six seconds, even during fights and childbirth.
What will be higher, Carey Price Saves Feb 3 vs Ottawa or Colin Kaepernick Passing Attempts Super Bowl XLVII?
YOUR BET: Just hurl your wallet into the sun, because you have a problem.
How many times will the game be referred to as the Harbaugh Bowl or Har Bowl or Super Baugh during the game?
YOUR BET: Under 2.5 -120
Phil Simms referring to the game as "the Hair Bowl" does not count, as he is under the impression this is the first Super Bowl to feature coaches with hair.