Lunchpail Fellas Of The Week: Wes Welker, Scott Chandler, Joseph Fauria, Kyle Rudolph, Nick Foles, Riley Cooper, Jordy Nelson, and Dallas Clark
For like a dozen minutes during the AM games,, these guys put together a back to back to back to back series of touchdowns Ive never seen before. I checked w/ NFL Health and Safteys stats dept and its a unofficial record for White guys scoring TDs or as I call it the HeadsUpest 2 minutes in football or as I call it the Two Minute Lill. It almost kind of makes you wonder if they timed it like that on purpose for marketing since alot of us at home were finishing our lunches just as some a those fellas were packing opening theres. Yep, just like they thought 100% whoop ass hard work.
RoadGrader Of The Week: Mike Florio
Mike had some real strongtakes on "League Of Denial" and he was the OLNY one I saw with the courage to point the blame in the right direction at the NFLPA. Mikes short on inches but also on patients when it comes to anyone trying to attack the shield and he unleashed the dogs on De Smith and his posse this week. He rightfully pointed out that the NFLPA(y) implicitly condone there own players getting concussions by continuing to allow players to play in the NFL. If they had disagreed with the League why didnt they fund there own study? Oh wait I forgot De Smith isnt about to invest money in any company that doesnt make oversized horizontal striped polo shirts for guys in chinstraps I guess.
Anyways, Florios again the voice of reason and probably also Goofys son, and for this Im saluting him with my official Road Grader Of The Week award.
Fans Of The Week: Coach Schianos Staphers
Love this little dig at the weak immune systems and players who spend more. LOVE how all the announcers are acting like a bunch of idiots with NO medical knoledge,, I mean who could possibly be suprised that theres a disease in Tampa that has become resistant to penicilin? When they hired Coach Schiano they knew they were getting a guy with infectious toughness but NO ONE counted on his players to spend more time making it rain then showering. The NFLPA has been a little to quiet about the location of these so-called life threatening bacteria, where are these wounds? How come we havent seen them? I think we can all assume there on private areas and more likely contracted by sharing needles or Brazzers models then they are from buckling their chinstraps too tight.
If you cant take the heat get out the kitchen IMO, but the only thing thats boiling more then the water down in Tampa is the players backs.
Announcer Of The Week: Coach Mike Ditka
Earlier this week Coach Ditka said his biggest regret in life was not running verse Barack Obama for Senate so that he would of stopped him from becoming President. Can you imagine a cool world where George W is MLB commish and Ditkas President making foreign visitors call him "Coach" and just telling it like it is and finally bringing a dignity to bringing cigars in the White house again? As a fun thing Ive got a form here for Ditkare- the healthcare system Americad have if it wasnt for Obamacare:
1. Are you hurt- or are you injured?
2. Before treatment if you marked injured do you have any known dirt allergys?
3. Deductables fall to only 7 draft picks
4. Vital signs are just if you can make a football move
5. Goverment WILL cover birth control but the only method is buying your wife a couple mini trampolines for her to bounce on naked, with her feet shoulder witdh apart at padlevel for 30 mins after a sex= Ditkas kind've just a fuddy duddy like that I guess.