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The complete history of elite NFL quarterbacks

The world's vastest reservoir of sports takes was first discovered about three years ago.

Patrick Smith

Joe Flacco is very rich. But is he elite?

This is an important topic, perhaps the most important topic in all of pointless sports arguing. But Google Trends demonstrates this is not a thing we used to have to worry about whenever a quarterback became very rich or did anything at all, as "elite quarterback" and its derivations only became a topic just a few years ago. Before 2009, nobody talked about elite quarterbacks.

Can you believe that? This great argument we get to have all day for no good reason was recently invented out of nowhere. 2008 must have sucked!

Probably coming soon: Aaron Rodgers is even richer than Joe Flacco. But is he elite?

Maybe following that: Matt Ryan is even richer than Aaron Rodgers. But is he elite?

Let's not forget this possibility: Matthew Stafford is even richer than Matt Ryan. But is he elite?

Eventually, perhaps: Robert Griffin III is even richer than whoever's richer than Matthew Stafford. But is he elite?

But wait: Tyler Bray is somehow richer than Robert Griffin III. There's no way that's true, but is he elite anyway?

A century yon: Immortal Joe Flacco is again richer than anyone else. He is immortal, but is he immortally elite?

Hold the phone: The Federal Reserve has crashed under the strain of Immortal Ben Roethlisberger's contract. Reanimated Ron Paul is happy, but is he elite?

You gotta be kidding me: Humanity has reached Type III status on the Kardashev scale, meaning it has finally harnessed the power of an entire galaxy. All resources produced go to paying down debt on Immortal Tim Tebow's contract. But is humanity elite?

Let there be light: A single, microscopic supercomputer contains all thought and energy that has ever transpired in what used to be the universe. It is deeded to Immortal Josh Freeman, according to a clause in his 2009 rookie contract. Josh Freeman's agent is incredible and definitely elite.

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