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Roger Goodell doubles down on London, might support medicinal marijuana

The NFL commissioner wants a team and a Super Bowl in London, and will not defy the evolution of medicine.

Doug Pensinger

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell spoke to reporters in New York City Tuesday about the prospects of establishing an NFL team and a Super Bowl overseas. The NFL has been toying with games in London for the past seven years, putting the slowest, soggiest most obvious "feelers" out there to gauge interest while hammering Great Britain with some of the worst matchups possible so that he may declare "THE SUN NEVER SETS ON THE NFL EMPIRE."

We're still a few years away from a Super Bowl in England because Goodell also confirmed Tuesday that he wants a franchise in London before there's a Super Bowl there, which might be the most ass-backwards thing out of this whole situation were it not for the following quote:

Why would the commissioner of the NFL not care if THE SECOND LARGEST MEDIA MARKET IN THE UNITED STATES should get a franchise before a thoroughly untested overseas market should? A Fortune 500 CEO would be called in front of his board of directors for making such an unequivocally dumb public statement.

In this case, however, his board is made up entirely of the 32 owners. They LOVE the fact that he's out there saying he "doesn't care" about which city will get a franchise first, despite the fact that LA IS THE SECOND LARGEST MEDIA MARKET IN THE UNITED STATES. The owners love having the threat of moving a team to LA to scare their current cities into having taxpayers subsidize their private enterprise. To be fair, this is an amazingly effective business strategy, even if it is an unethical one.

Goodell was also asked about the potential for the NFL to allow its players to use medicinal marijuana to treat pain associated with football-related injuries, and he gave the most Roger Goodell answer possible:

"I don't know what's going to develop as far as the next opportunity for medicine to evolve and to help either deal with pain or help deal with injuries," Goodell said, "but we will continue to support the evolution of medicine."

There you have it*. The NFL will not stand in the way of the evolution of medicine. Bold stance from a man who is in charge of regulating a professional sports league.

Real translation: I will not allow players to smoke marijuana until it is completely legalized in the United States, grown, marketed and sold under the leadership of Senior Vice President Mathieu's "National Football Weed" division of NFL Properties.

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