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NFL franchises with the least coaching patience

We weren't even out of the first month of the season before our first coach was fired. In this week's Absurd Power Rankings, we review the coaches who have had the shortest tenure with each franchise.

Tom Szczerbowski

Dennis Allen is the first coaching domino to fall in 2014, and his dismissal was not particularly gentle. Allen was only given 36 games to turn things around in Oakland, but that's not so bad when you consider the shortest coaching hooks* of all time, the subject of this week's Absurd Power Ranking.

*does not include interim head coaches who were not retained or coaches who elected to resign

1. Washington George P. Marshall put his franchise firmly atop this list in 1949 when he fired his head coach, John Whelchel, seven games into Whelchel's first season. (Bonus: the team was 3-3-1 at the time.) Good to see Washington's always been a management disaster.

2. San Francisco The 49ers hired Pete McCulley before the start of the 1978 season; when he stumbled to a 1-8 record, they pulled the plug rather than let him coach as many games as he had fingers.

3. Pittsburgh The first man to coach the Steelers quickly became the first man to be relieved of his duties by the Steelers, as Forrest Douds was out after 11 games with a 3-6-2 record in 1933. Fortunately -- or awkwardly, depending on your perspective -- Douds was also a player on the team, and he stuck around for the 1934 season.

4. Arizona In the 1930 and 1931 seasons, fullback Ernie Nevers was the player-coach for the Chicago Cardinals; he came back in just the coach role in 1939 but was fired after a single 1-10 season.

5. Indianapolis The first coach of the Colts, Keith Molesworth, only lasted one year and was dismissed after Baltimore went 3-9 in 1953.

6. Tennessee During their Houston Oilers years, the franchise fired Sammy Baugh after the 1964 season AND fired his replacement, Hugh Taylor, the season after that.

7. St. Louis The Rams barely managed to keep their first coach around longer than a season; Hugo Bezdek led the 1937 squad to a 1-10 record and was dumped three games into the 1938 season.

8(tie). Detroit Bill Edwards only coached 14 games for the Lions, fired shortly into his second season with the team in 1942. Edwards then enlisted in the U.S. Navy, which has appeared in as many Super Bowls as the Lions.

8(tie). Philadelphia Ed Khayat impressed the Eagles in 1971 when he took over as interim coach, but he only made it one full season with that adjective removed, as Philly finished with a record of 2-11-1.

10. Oakland Undisputed kings of the one-and-done season. In the post-merger era, the Raiders have canned three coaches (Joe Bugel, Art Shell and Hue Jackson) after just 16 games.

11. Green Bay Most coaches the Packers hire get some time to prove themselves. Ray Rhodes, who went 8-8 before being fired, is not most coaches.

12. New York Jets Fired Pete Carroll after he went 6-10 in 1994, his first and only season as their head coach. I haven't checked, but I'm sure the Jets have been wildly successful since then.

13. Seattle Remember that season where Jim L. Mora went 5-11 with the Seahawks? It's fine if you don't, since it didn't leave enough of an impression to get Mora a second season.

14. Cleveland The most recent short firing on this list, the Browns had enough of Rob Chudzinski after one 4-12 season last year and moved on.

15. Cincinnati Fired Homer Rice after the Bengals went 4-12 in 1979, his only full year as head coach.

16(tie). Minnesota Hired Les Steckel. Went 3-13. Fired Les Steckel.

16(tie). Tampa Bay Hired Richard Williamson. Went 3-13. Fired Richard Williamson.

18(tie). Jacksonville The most highly ranked of the recent expansion franchises on this list, as the Jaguars canned Mike Mularkey after one depressing 2-14 season.

18(tie). Kansas City When Romeo Crennel went 2-1 as interim head coach of the Chiefs in 2011, the organization hoped he'd be the stabilizing force to push the team to the next level. The win number stabilized in 2012, but the loss number jumped to 14 and Crennel was out.

Photo: Garrett Ellwood

20(tie). New England Gave Rod Rust one season; he gave them one win and 15 losses in return.

20(tie). Miami Cam Cameron's 1-15 season in 2007 feels soooooo long ago. Unless you're a Dolphins fan, in which case I'm guessing it feels not nearly far enough in the past.

22. Atlanta After serving as interim head coach in 1975, Marion Campbell got the full-time job in 1976. He lasted only 19 games before getting fired -- though, bizarrely, Atlanta brought him back for a second run in 1987.

23. San Diego Ended the Kevin Gilbride Era just 22 games into his Chargers tenure.

24. Denver Denver's first coach, Frank Filchock, only made it 28 games before he was dismissed in 1961. Almost 50 years later, Josh McDaniels was also removed after his 28th game. Though it should be noted Filchock never traded up in the draft to get Tim Tebow.

25. New Orleans Hank Stram won three AFL titles and a Super Bowl with the Chiefs, but he only went 7-21 with the Saints and was fired at the end of his second season.

26. Buffalo The Bills canned their first-ever coach, Buster Ramsey, in 1961 after two seasons and a record of 11-16-1.

27. New York Giants Gave Ray Handley a whopping 32 games before replacing him with Dan Reeves in 1993.

28. Dallas Jerry Jones may have a reputation as an impulsive and short-sighted general manager, but he's not usually quick to hand his coach a pink slip. Chan Gailey can change anyone's mind, however, and he was done after two seasons and 34 games in Dallas.

29. Chicago Getting fired quickly by the Bears is next to impossible. Abe Gibron went 7-20-1 in his first two years as head coach and still got another full season, only fired after the Bears went 4-10 in 1974.

30(tie). Carolina Tolerated George Seifert for three full seasons before giving up.

30(tie). Baltimore Like Seifert, Ted Marchibroda got 48 games with the Ravens but never got the team above six wins in a season.

32. Houston 64 glorious games of Dom Capers until his firing after the 2005 season. Never let it be said that the Texans aren't patient.