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Washington should deal RG3, pick up Jordan Shipley and other trade deadline moves

It's the NFL trade deadline, and we've got some ideas for deals that could happen

Ronald Martinez

We're required to remind you that these strong takes are PARODY. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -Ed.

Trade RG3 for Marshawn Lynch and claim Jordan Shipley off waivers

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Last night might of been the best NFL game you or I will ever see. And Colt McCoys success at the QB positon left the Redskins at the trading post as buyers not sellers with one sure move to make. RG3 has become a unnesecary burden. This is America and when someone can do your job for less money, you become expendable.

Marshawn has clearly warn out his welcome on the Seahawks and is causing a bigger headache in Seattle then Courtney Love, no offense. A straight-up trade for RG3 would bolster the Redskins groundgame and do wonders for teaching Russel Wilson to have a mentor in the "people questoning your blackness" department.

Sure RG3 has the potetntal to be the kind of downfield threat at Wide Recever that McCoy needs, but that could be solved by making the simple waver wire additon of Colts old study-buddy Jordan Shipley. Right now the Redskins have enough speed recevers/possible gang members at the WR position and dont need their depthchart traffic jam to turn into a drive-by.

Next up for the Skins is a game verse Teddy BridgeH0-2 and the hapless Vikings, pulling the Redskins one step closer to .500.

Who would you rather have leading your team? RG 3-13 or Colt 4-5?

Raiders trade Darren McFadden to the Vikings for Norv Turner

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The 4 sweetest words in the english language are "Head Coach Norv Turner." If the Raiders want to get back to fundamentals of setting there franchise back 4 years on a yearly basis, then they need to bring in Norval yesterday.

The Vikings have a Adrian Peterson sized hole in there roster at the "running back whose defienitely on steroids" position, and the fact that Run MRI hasnt needed to have his foot amputated yet tells me that hes on some kind of sauce this year.

The NFL is a better league when the Cowboys and Steelers are good teams and Norv Turner is 3-7 to start the year thats a fact.

49ers and Ravens trade Jim for John Harbaugh and don't tell anyone

Two coaches sons who both need a change of scenery to take on brand new challenges in the domestic violents space. Jims got more of a Baltimore persona, and besides acording to most pickup artist forums, nothing screams "AFC" more then Walmart Khakis.

They are both the type guys who would take a job in another city and forget to tell there familys so its not like theyll have to do alot of convincing on the homefront. In fact this would be a great opportunity to film a "Football Life" seres with a trading spouses type sitaution for the brothers to just kind of admit that there old children werent focused enough and see if a new voice in the living room might make these kids recommit to greatness.

FACT: Jim and John Harbaugh are actualy twins but just like he did at Stanford, Jim stayed in his moms vagina for a extra year until there was a good opening for him to leave. So no one would even notice that the two brothers pulled a Freak Friday on Super Sunday when they made it to another Harbowl.

Photos via Getty Images and USATSI