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Blame Teddy Bridgewater

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The Vikings got crushed by the rival Packers on Thursday Night Football, leaving the ultimate NFL fan to wonder who was really to blame.

Jeff Hanisch-USA TODAY Sports

We're required to remind you that these strong takes are PARODY. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -Ed.

In 2010, Teddy Bridgewater committed to Charlie Strong and the Cardinals. Now its four years later and he's commiting the Cardinal sin of being a Weak NFL player: You cant skip a game because you "feel" like it.

Teddy might just be too young and naive to realize this,, but when you sit out a game your not only disrespecting your teamates and coaches, but your spitting the in the face of the proud tradition of Thursday Night Football. Oh your ankle hurts Teddy? Thats a real shame but I want to get blind drunk and watch a decent NFL game don't be so selfish. You dont throw with your ankle you throw with your hips.

Heck, maybe Teddys pro day was really just a "con" day. Heck, maybe theres a reason the only franchise in the NFL that wanted him as quaterback didnt think he was good enough to beat out Matt Cassel. Heck, maybe the only thing thats wearing thinner then those knees are his excuses.

Last week Teddy made a big deal about going through his progressons too quickly like he was showing up the Falcons defenders. Bridgewater was suppose to be a read-option guy like Geno Smith or Joe Webb, but instead he went "off the film" as coaches say,, and broke out some new tricks with his pocket passing- essentially playing a trick on the opponents.

Players around the league talk, and this type of flashy play is sure to catch the eyes of some veterans who dont like some newcomer not knowing his role. Hope it was worth it,, al the distractons and hullabaloo in exchange for a home victory over the Falcons that he needed Christian Ponder to come in for the save and close out. This isnt about race, btw so dont even bring that up because Im not going to. Matter fact I think that Teddy could of been a servicable slot recever or radio DJ. But giving him the keys to a franchise makes about as much sense as hiring a certain Vikings runningback to be your live-in nanny. So dont even bring up the race angle because I havent even thought of it and its not worth discussing.

No matter how hard he tries to be a "hipster" quaterback hes just a poser. He dosent even own any records, hes not even in the same genre as REAL Indy guys like Peyton and Luck,, in fact the only reason he even wears skinny jeans is because there the only ones that fit his knees.

But I guess Teddy got what he wanted,, the sidelines cameras were all over him and he was the center of attenton.

But a hipster should be a fan of the old stuff. Maybe Teddy dosent know the proud history behind the Vikings franchise. Vikings Legend Brett Farve would of told his coach that he was going to play on a banged up ankle no matter poorly he would of performed,, the ultimate team player.

But I guess Teddy got what he wanted,, the sidelines cameras were all over him and he was the center of attenton. I hope your happy. He was smiling for CBS and proving to America that he cares more about Grinning then Winning. Theres a reason everyone except for Minnesota passed on Bridgewater,,hes literaly the Walter Mondale of quarterbacks folks. "

The Vikings should of followed Sarah Palins lead and said "thanks but not thanks" to Teddy Bridge to no where.