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Don't be an idiot: NFL picks against the spread, Week 13

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One trick to sports betting is to not be an idiot. Fortunately, we're here to help with that.

Thanksgiving football is the best kind of football. You're stuffed, a little drunk, and feeling lazy as hell. It's the only time that sitting on your ass and watching the NFL actually feels like a tradition. Like it's something you're supposed to be doing to honor your family. It's wonderful.

If you happen to be at a friend or family member's house you need to find a football buddy to figure out the proper protocol to watch the game. There's usually one acquaintance who will give you a silent nod when you overreact to a late pick-six, knowing that you too had money on the spread. That guy is now your football buddy and you are now obligated to break the ice with a Tony Romo joke.

If you find yourself at a house where there is no televised football, that's ok too. Don't be the idiot who openly complains about no football because people hate that person. Just relax, drink another beer, and think of it as doing your small part to keep ratings in check. You're taking one for the team and we appreciate it.

DETROIT -7 over Chicago

The battle of the offensive mega-mind gurus here with Caldwell and Trestman. You talk about charisma city, don't you dare leave your wife alone in a room with these two casanovas unless you want to spend New Years Eve alone, again.

Oakland +6.5 at ST. LOUIS

Looks like the old burying the football trick worked huh? The Raiders were able to get their first win of the season over Andy Reid, a coach who is more known for covering pigskins in hot oil and vinegar than dirt. This is a game that I would never bet on unless I was forced to or I was just really bored. Both teams are bad, but the Rams are also confusing with how bad they can be against bad teams, while being not quite as bad against good teams.

INDIANAPOLIS -10 over Washington

Finally the world gets to settle the bet on who was the correct overall No. 1 pick- Andrew Luck or Robert Griffin III.

Cincinnati -4 over TAMPA BAY

Marvin Lewis and Lovie Smith should settle this match with a staring contest which might be entertaining than the game itself. The cool thing about the Bengals offense is that A.J. Green controls the game plan almost as much as any QB. He makes Mohammad Sanu better. He makes Jeremy Hill and Giovanni Bernard better. He makes Andy Dalton a whole hell of a lot better.

The Bucs just got blown out by the Bears, which heavily factored into my decision to bet against them.

GREEN BAY -3 over New England

This is going to be the best game of the afternoon if you like points. The over/under is 58.5 due to Brady and Rodgers being back at the top of their games. Per Oddshark, Green Bay is 5-1-1 against the spread in their last seven games against the Patriots, but the Pats tend to come out strong when Vegas underestimates them- they're 4-0 straight up in their last 4 as underdogs.

The rest:

DALLAS -3 over Philadelphia

Seattle (pick 'em) at SAN FRANCISCO

Cleveland +2 over BUFFALO

PITTSBURGH +3 over New Orleans

BALTIMORE -5 over San Diego

Carolina +3 over MINNESOTA

HOUSTON -6.5 over Tennessee

ATLANTA +2.5 over Arizona

KANSAS CITY +1.5 over Denver

Miami -4 over NEW YORK JETS