clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Monday Night Fitness is the Colts-Giants drinking game for your body

It's that time again! We'll whip you into shape WHILE you watch football.

Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Monday is the day you're supposed to hit the gym. Gotta work off all those wings and pints of beer, right? Yeah, yeah, but you gotta work all day and then there's FOOTBALL at night again! Well, we've got the solution: get fit WHILE you watch football. With the ultra-predictable "Monday Night Football" broadcast, it should be a breeze!

It's real simple. Think of it like a drinking game, but with more sweating (or less, depending on your drinking regimen). Something on the list happens, you do the appropriate exercise. Got it? Get to it.

Here are your Monday Night Fitness assignments for Colts at Giants on Monday night:

EVERY TIME: DO THIS:
You see fans who are shivering in the bitter cold 20 crunches
Any mention of Frank Sinatra or "New York, New York" 5 minute plank
Anyone mentions the stadium isn't actually in New York Run a marathon
Stock footage of the Statue of Liberty 20 lunges
ESPN shows aerial view of the stadium 20 squats
"Rebuilding year." 25 squats
You hear "I WAS BOOORN FREEEE" 20 crunches
Stock footage of the Freedom Tower 20 jumping jacks
Announcers say "The Big Apple" 10 pushups
Any group of fans with team name spelled out across multiple chests 2 laps around your block
ESPN shows any footage of stadium food 15 pushups
ESPN cuts to a cute kid in the crowd 10 second plank
Stock footage of subways 15 squats
That stupid "fans singing" NFL app commercial comes on 20 lunges
Cameras find a fan with a sign using the letters "ESPN" in a clever way 20 bicep curls with a canned good
Stock footage of the Empire State Building 15 second side plank
ESPN puts up a graph showing Eli Manning's terrible stats 10 handstand pushups
ESPN puts up a graph comparing Eli and Peyton's stats 20 handstand pushups
The Eli/Peyton comparison graph involves a pun Finish watching on treadmill
Jon Gruden doesn't know what a common word means 20 burpees

We believe in you. Feel the burn.