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Who's on your Mount Rushmore of Mount Rushmores?

The NFL offseason is a time where people's takes need to be stepped up in order to fill the massive void left without football. A great way to do this is through a device known as Mount Rushmoring.

PFT Commenter's strong takes are presented as PARODY. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional ... we think. -Ed.

Its literally the best time of the year for STRONG TAKES folks. This is when journalists start making headlines instead of writing them. This is when you find out whose a real fan and whose just there for the culture of entitlement that goes a long with being a fair-weather seat filler.

The grandist tradition of offseason takes is declaring Mount Rushmores of things. Usually folks wait until at least May or June to start with their Mount Rushmore topics witch is basically a top 10 list for people who can only count to four, but it looks like the taeks have already started so naturally Im going to one-up them all. Last year I did a Mount Flushmore series were I named the four worst players in an franchises history, but now I present to you My Mount Rushmore list of Mount Rushmores: The 4 coolest topics to debate in NFL and American history:

4. Mount Rushmore of NFL locker room distractions

  • A Gay player
  • Telling your teamates that your contemplating suicide
  • Women journalists in the locker room- when they rudley asking you to not like pound off while there trying to interview you
  • Terrell Owens- still #1 by a mile

3. Mount Rushmore of Wars

  • WW2 and WW1 (both literaly the same war just restarted by Rosevelt to pay for his socialism)
  • Civil War (the early stuff)
  • Revolutonary (back when we knew how to fight verse tyranny and didnt have all these problems we deal with nowdays)
  • Manning verse Brady

2. Mount Rushmore of different species of QBs

  • Elite- Your Ben Roethlisbergers, your Eli Mannings, your Aaron Rodgerses (unless hes distraction #1), your Tom Bradys
  • Elite?- Your Joe Flaccos, your Andrew Lucks, your Peyton Mannings, your Drew Breeses
  • Game Managers- Your Russel WIlsons, your Alex Smiths, your Nick Foleses, your Philip Riverses
  • Game Womanagers- your RG3s, your Colin Crapernicks, your Tony Romos, your Josh Freemens

1. Mount Rushmore of Least Racist Slave-Owning United States Presidents

  • Ulysses S Grant- owned just a little bit of slaves but still had led the fight verse the South because they had slaves= such a strong take on his part. Im a big Confedracy states-rights type guy but ultimately Im about results and he got the job done.
  • George Washington- Only White guy in history with the last name Washington, really makes you think.
  • James Madison- Wrote the Constution featuring the 2nd amendment which guarentees EVERYONE gets there own gun to make things safer. The entire Constution obviously implies that all rights will be afforded to non-white people too once someone gets around to writing a amendment to the Constution 100 years later which showed a tremendous amount of forethought.
  • Thomas Jefferson- Some of his best children were black.

Who's on your Mount Rushmore of Mount Rushmores?

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