We're required to remind you that these strong takes are PARODY. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -Ed.
Why couldnt the Eagles have caught Deseans problems before they had to cut him before he caused any problems? As it stands you cant call Philly's refusal to address this issue anything but a failure from the ground up, just like the entire city of Philadelpha- no offense to the city of Philadelpha.
Enter behavior expert Bill Belichick. I bet you anything hes literally licking his lips at the prospect of bringing in De'Sean to be the next in his reclamation projects like Moss, Talib, and Hernandez. Next thing you know hell have De'Sean doing the Super Bowl Shuffle instead of Crip Walking folks.
DeSean Jackson rumors
Were just not use to seeing the Eagles screw up this badly outside the month of January. But perhaps the most telling of warning sign was when Chip Kelly had to compleatly abandon his usual playcalling symbols in favor of something Desean could remember.