Better things to do with $133 million

As teams prepare for the upcoming free agency period, the NFL has announced that the salary cap will be $133 million. That's a lot of money to spend on your Jimmy Grahams and your Brian Orakpos or anything else, really.

As a matter of fact, if you gave me the keys to an NFL franchise, there's a very good chance that I would just sell the team immediately for a billion dollars and go get arrested in every time zone within a calendar year. Here's a complete and final list of other good or terrible things that you could spend the $133 million salary cap on instead of stupid expensive football players.

• Two Monster HDMI cables
• You could finally do CrossFit
• Four complete NFL teams of Russell Wilsons and Danny Woodheads
• One and a third Albert Haynesworths
• Rob Ryan's entire Mardi Gras bar tab
• "A 30-year-old square peg and a round hole"- Dan Snyder
• 80 percent of the Dallas Cowboys roster
• Pay me to eat in a Subway 133 times
• You could shop at Whole Foods twice a month for the rest of your life
• Happiness
• The construction of an 85 degree lazy river that circles my house and flushes for me to use instead of a toilet
• You could get so laid, I bet
• NFL Europe
• 14,777,777 pairs of khakis for Jim Harbaugh
• Slight upgrades to the 17-inch replay TVs the refs use on the field
• Clone every Manning
• I don't know. Like a decent pension plan for retired players or whatever