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Strip club mathematics with Bryant McKinnie

Just how many lap dances does $150,000 buy?

Mike Ehrmann

Another bill came due for Dolphins tackle Bryant McKinnie recently. He settled up with Trick Daddy's daddy over $150,000 in unpaid lap dances at Miami's King of Diamonds strip club, owned by the elder Daddy. That's a lot of money, way more than just a casual after work twerk here and there. In fact, it's sort of hard to comprehend. $150,000 worth of lap dances needs some perspective.

Fortunately, someone else ran the numbers for us.

FYI, that comes out to about $37.50 per lap dance.

At five minutes per song, it's 333 hours, nearly 14 days, worth of lap dances. At three minutes per song, it's 200 hours, 8 days, worth of entertainment.

  • The trip from Moscow to Valdivostock, a distance of 6,500 miles, takes two weeks on the Trans-Siberian Railroad. Two weeks on a train with Vladimir Putin watching doesn't sound very fun, but if there was a non-stop series of lap dances the entire way ...
  • Eight days a week, like the Beatles song (which is probably not on the playlist at King of Diamonds).
  • By some estimates the world was created in six days, with a seventh day for resting and/or lap dancing.
  • The world record for longest pole dance is 30 hours. King of Diamonds and McKinnie kind of missed their shot at the Guinness record book.
  • You have exactly 14 days to return products to the Apple store, which probably doesn't apply if the bouncer breaks your iPhone for taking pictures during 200 hours of lap dances.

What else could you do or what else has been accomplished in 8-14 days?