The NFL is working hard to lure fans back into the stadiums. Owners are installing WiFi, swimming pools, giant score boards and lots more gimmicks to lure you out of your basement and into a live audience, where everything's more directly profitable for the billionaire who owns your favorite team.
Maybe NFL owners should just read this "best and worst away game experience" thread at Reddit/r/NFL if they really want to understand what brings fans through the gates. I encourage everyone to read through the thread, but in the interest of aggregation, I've pulled out a few takeaways for you.
Philly fans are still the best
You knew this one was coming. But it's worth an up vote anyway.
Player jersey trash talking is pretty tame by Philadelphia standards. This is the city that throws batteries at people and booed Santa Claus. Can we do better?
"Oh hey, just going to urinate on you and your Cowboys jersey real quick. Hope you're enjoying the city. Be sure to check out the art museum while you're here."
Arrowhead welcomes you
It's Midwestern friendliness on display in the parking lots of Arrowhead Stadium, renowned for its tailgating and large crowds excited about a team that hasn't won a playoff game since the 1993 season.
Well, if there's one thing Chiefs fans can appreciate, it's Brady Quinn ... and beer bongs until you black out.
Even when Chiefs fans are bad, they find a way to redeem themselves. It's a little surprising that a decade of Marty Ball actually made fans more gracious and accepting.
St. Louis has a team?
Staying in Missouri, football on the other side of the state leaves a little to be desired thanks to an aging and mostly empty Edward Jones Dome.
The good news is that at least it's quiet enough to get some reading done while you're at a Rams game.
Even Cleveland fans don't like Cleveland
According to one Browns fan, not all Browns fans are assholes, just the ones that go to the games.
That comment is great for so many reasons.
FedEx Field is the best (worst)
The team's nickname isn't Dan Snyder's only problem.
How are people supposed to watch Snyder "honoring" the small handful of Native Americans who aren't offended by the racial slur of a team name if it's that hard to get to the game and see the field from every seat?
The best game experience story of all also happens to come from a fan at FedEx Field. Seeing this incident go down would either make it the greatest NFL game experience of your life or the worst, depending on whether or not the drunk guy fell on your kids or peed on your leg. (h/t Xmas Ape)