Von Miller was fined $11,000 by the NFL for his celebratory sack dance, which featured Miller having sex with a ghost. (Some have said he's mimicking Key and Peele's skit about how the NFL penalizes celebrations.) So Sunday, when he got a sack against the Vikings ... he had to take a moment to pause:
Miller got his hands up and prepares to thrust... and then realizes he can't go through with it. He might get fined. The refs are watching. The NFL is watching. Miller knows the NFL is watching and well, thrusting gets costly quickly.
Von Miller on his NSFW dance: "Them pumps are expensive. If I keep pumping, it will get out of control."
— Lindsay Jones (@bylindsayhjones) October 4, 2015
DAMMIT, NFL! Do you realize how hard it is for a ghost to get some these days? Von Miller's post-sack air coitus was all some phantoms had. Roger Goodell, you need to watch out. There are some very sexually frustrated ghosts with an axe to grind. Be on the lookout for spooky ongoings around the league offices.
* * *