NO BUTTS ABOUT IT: Want to know the real reason the Eagles offense is struggling? It's because Sam Bradford has a small posterior, far too small to succeed in the eyes of at least one observer. (Crazy? Yes, but it still beats whatever Phil Simms is talking about.)
DONE WITH COLLEGE: Chip Kelly reportedly told the Eagles that he isn't going back to college. Good, because grad school is a total waste of money. It's actually in relation to the rumors about him leaving the NFL, which seemed pretty dubious already.
LOS ANGELES IN JANUARY: NFL owners are probably going to vote in January to decide which team gets to go to Los Angeles.
PACMAN FEVER: Adam Jones had a really interesting conversation with Dan Le Batard this week, going into detail about getting his life back on track with a little help from Marvin Lewis.
LUCK-LESS: It sounds like the Colts might not have Andrew Luck for Thursday night's AFC South tilt with the Texans.
JOHNSON'S RETURN: The Colts will have Andre Johnson in the lineup tonight (though you can be excused if you forgot he was actually playing this season). Texans fans have feelings about seeing their team's former star come back to town in a new uniform.
ON THE ROAD: Indianapolis has played 11 Thursday games on the road since 2001, more than any other team in the league. The good news at least is that they have a pretty good record in those games.
THE NAST NATTI: Russell Wilson was born in Cincinnati and he'll play there this week. And he calls it "The Nast 'Natti."
DUMB PEOPLE SAYING DUMB THINGS: Jerry Jones gave a weird response to Greg Hardy's tone deaf comments. Garbage Time host Katie Nolan gave Hardy the thrashing he deserved.
FANTASY CORNER: It's a strange year so far for receivers, check out some of the players currently on pace to break the 1,000-yard mark this season. Be sure to check out this week's updated rankings before making your final roster decisions.