Something magnificent is happening in the NFC East. After the Cowboys beat Washington on Monday night -- a game that was about 97 percent unwatchable boondoggle and 3 percent HELP SOMEONE IS STRANGLING THIS BOONDOGGLE -- the division standings look like this:
- Washington -- 5-7, 2-2 in the division, still leading after the loss
- Philadelphia Eagles -- 5-7, 2-2 in the division, coming off an improbable win over the Patriots.
- New York Giants -- 5-7, 2-3 in the division off a loss to the Jets
- Cowboys -- 4-8, 3-2 in the division, somehow, some way still breathing
Every team has led the division at some point this season. The lead has changed five times, and it is poised to change again. Each team has four games left in its season, and there are three more East-on-East games for these teams to cannibalize each other -- Washington-Eagles in Week 16, and Eagles-Giants and Washington-Cowboys in Week 17. If you have any inkling of how the division will shake out, you're a liar.
There is only one truly appropriate outcome.
Best-case scenario (easily achievable) is 4-way tie at 6-10, and if God exists, it will happen. Atheism vs. deism PUT TO THE ULTIMATE TEST
— Ray Ratto (@RattoCSN) December 8, 2015
Because division champions get an automatic playoff berth -- and a home game! -- we may see the worst team to ever advance to the postseason. The current worst team ever is the 7-9 Seahawks of 2010, who closed the season 1-3 to skid into a Wild Card bout -- and win! -- against the Saints.
A four-way tie of 6-10 teams would be the ultimate testament to collective ineptitude especially if, and this is important, those four teams each go a perfect 3-3 in the division.
The best part about this scenario is that it's feasible. Washington would have to lose out until its Week 17 revenge game against Dallas. The newly buoyed Cowboys need to win twice before losing to Washington. The Giants also need to go 1-3, beating the Eagles to close the season. The Eagles need to beat Washington in Week 16 and lose everything else.
At that point, the division would be decided exactly the way it should be: On a technicality, which benefits the Eagles and their better record in common games.
The Eagles: A team that gave up 90 combined points in Weeks 11 and 12, was seemingly on the verge of firing its head coach and -- after beating the Patriots with touchdowns on a blocked punt, punt return and Tom Brady's first ever pick-six -- now has more positive momentum than any of its rivals.
Let's walk through how we got here, the point when no one wants to win this cruddy division.
Sept. 13 -- Cowboys beat the Giants in Week 1
The Cowboys pulled ahead early in the division by squeaking past the Giants, 27-26, thanks to terrible clock mismanagement by Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin. Still, it was a close game and the victor went 12-4 the previous season. The outcome might have suggested that those two teams would be strong in the season to come. The Eagles and Washington lost one-score, out-of-division games.
Sept. 20 -- Cowboys beat Eagles, but lose Romo
The Cowboys technically strengthened their lead in the NFC East by improving to 2-0 on the season and in the division, but it was Pyrrhic victory. Quarterback Tony Romo suffered a shoulder injury, and the Cowboys did not win again until Romo returned in Week 11 to beat the Dolphins. He injured his collarbone in Week 12 and was done for the season.
Oct. 11 -- Giants win third straight to take division lead
The Giants capitalized on the downtrodden Cowboys. Eli Manning threw for 441 yards in a three-point win over the 49ers to give the Giants the division lead and a chance to run away with the NFC East crown. They improved to 3-2 while every other team sat at 2-3. Washington was doing about what was expected of it with Kirk Cousins, not Robert Griffin III, at quarterback. The Eagles lost to Washington in Week 4, and we started to wonder whether Chip Kelly's big offseason moves were wise.
Oct. 19 -- Eagles beat down the Giants, 27-7, and take division lead
Nevermind! Kelly's Eagles won an ugly game against the Giants on 'Monday Night Football.' Though Kelly's offense never took off -- mostly, it capitalized on Giants mistakes -- the defense looked outstanding in holding the Giants to 247 total yards, of which just 32 came after halftime.
Oct. 25 -- Giants beat Cowboys to take division lead AGAIN
This time, the Giants would hold their NFC East lead for four straight weeks. Heading into their Week 11 bye, they looked like the only competent team in the division. After getting revenge against the Cowboys, they lost a thriller in New Orleans, beat the Buccaneers by 14 then lost to the still-undefeated Patriots by one point. No team wants to lose, but at least the Giants were losing quality games.
The rest of the division was floundering. The Eagles needed overtime to beat the hamstrung Cowboys in Week 9, and what had been a vaunted defense came apart in a 45-17 loss to a mediocre Bucs team. Washington varied wildly from week to week. It put up 510 total yards of offense to beat New Orleans by 33 points, then just 436 yards combined in blowout losses to the Patriots and Panthers.
Nov. 29 -- Washington upsets Giants and HOLY CRAP WASHINGTON LEADS NOW
This is what SB Nation wrote in it season preview about Washington:
The team also picked up Robert Griffin III's fifth-year contract option for 2016, but then drama struck again late in the preseason. Kirk Cousins is set to start the season after rumblings suggested that coaches are ready to move on from Griffin for good. A lot is riding on Cousins' shoulders now. If the dysfunction translates on the field, Jay Gruden's team could be looking at another subpar season and even more off-field turmoil.
And it mostly came true! Washington's biggest season objective was to find a state of normalcy. It has had some good wins, but remains one of the highest variance teams in the league. Against the Giants, a defense that had just given up 44 points to the Panthers shut out Manning and company for nearly 50 minutes. Earlier in the week, the Eagles and the Cowboys were embarrassed on Thanksgiving. The Eagles gave up 45 points for a second straight week to lose to the Lions, and the Cowboys were chewed through by Cam Newton.
Dec. 7 -- Eagles beat the Patriots
The defense may have gotten back on track against a hobbled but always-potent Patriots offense, making Philadelphia the surest bet in a division on which you absolutely should not bet anything ever. The Cowboys got their first Romo-less win since 2010, the Giants confirmed they can't be trusted in any late-game scenario, and Washington confirmed it can't be trusted, period.
This division is heading for a pile-up like we've never witnessed, and in primetime, too. And like any wreck, you're going to gawk at it no matter how shameful it feels.
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SB Nation presents: The most impressive teams of Week 13