One of my most trusted sources in the Tampa Bay area tipped me off to a new marketing campaign the Bucs have unveiled, encouraging fans of all ages to JOIN THE SIEGE. What does that mean? The website isn't terribly clear.
A few follow-up questions for the Bucs:
1. Isn't a siege where you surround a city or structure in order to either cut off its supply lines or attack it by force? 52 days from today is September 13, when you're scheduled to play your first regular season game against the Tennessee Titans. But that's a home game, so it can't be that you're organizing a blockade of Nashville. Is siege the word you meant to use here?
2. If this is a military attack, is it appropriate to invite children? Think about this. If the battle is lost, nobody will remain to tell the tale of the brave Tampa men and women who fought in this unspecified siege.
3. Is it possible you're using this promotion and specific terminology to announce that Steven Seagal is joining the team as a consultant? Are you teaching Jameis Winston how to disarm ex-CIA mercenaries? I'm not sure that's the kind of quarterback development you should focus on.
4. Yeah, still stuck on the "siege" bit. Are you organizing the Tampa citizenry into a militia and overthrowing the local government? Why? What do you have to gain?
5. Wait, was what that bit about "AND THE SUN RISES ON TAMPA BAY LIKE NEVER BEFORE?"
5. Dammit, you're going to try to block out the sun, aren't you?