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NFL Week 9 preview: Dildos should not have smiley faces

Finally, the NFL story Uffsides was created for: DILDOGATE. Matt and the crew discuss dildos on the field while previewing the eye poison that will be Bills-Seahawks on "Monday Night Football." Before that, though, they have to break down the biggest topics of the week, like Ben Roethlisberger's meat transfusions and how Mike Zimmer was created in a lab underneath a British pub.

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Matt Ufford and the Uffsides crew preview the five best games of Week 9 in the NFL, including:

Vikings-Lions: Both teams are coming off losses that saw them struggle to get much of anything going on offense -- and unfortunately Bradford and Stafford won't face off in Ford Field, but between Mike Zimmer's red face and Detroit's woeful defense, there should be some entertaining stuff.

Ravens-Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger's probably gonna come back after missing just a single game due to a torn meniscus, we break down Breshad Perriman's wacky hair, and imagine what a Harbaugh Family Thanksgiving looks like with John, Jim, and Tom Crean.

Browns-Cowboys: Jamie Collins is set to debut for the Browns at linebacker and, probably, backup quarterback. They'll have a tough matchup against the 6-1 Cowboys, who will be down a couple starting DBs. Could mean some big things from McCownTown, especially if he gets Corey Coleman back.

Raiders-Broncos: Derek Carr, the possible first-half MVP, leads his guys against the defending champs in a heavyweight AFC West battle of 6-2 squads. They should probably try to avoid getting penalized 23 times.

Bills-Seahawks: The world has been waiting for the unretirement of a mercurial, eccentric player who has played for both of these teams. Indeed, Percy Harvin is back in the league after signing with the Bills and is set to make his return against his former team. Also, we dive into the travel tendencies of the Ryan bros.