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Sports moms are a unique breed, and they can play many different roles. There's the combative sort, who will pounce to defend her sports-playing child at any cost. There's the shy sort, who doesn't want to meddle. There's the one who's always the loudest cheerer in the stands.
Then there's the mother of Eli Apple, the former Ohio State and current New York Giants cornerback. Annie Apple appears to be the perfect mix of sly, hilarious, confrontational and policy-oriented.
Annie stepped into the spotlight just before the NFL Draft, when some lame anonymous scout dinged Eli's draft stock because he "has no life skills" and -- this is serious -- "can't cook." As if the scout would have any way of knowing, first of all, and as if that would have any bearing on his football-playing ability even if it were true.
Annie wasn't having any of it. As has since become internet legend, she dropped the hammer.
We dont respond to anonymous people & things. They're not real to us. What's real is this amazing dream our son is living rite now. #GoBucks
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 27, 2016
Btw, Eli's dad is a retired five star chef. We eat well. So stop playing with our name. Next time you say our name, put some respeck on it
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 27, 2016
The Giants drafted Eli 10th overall shortly after Mr. Anonymous Scout sounded off about his cooking ability.
But Annie saved her best bullet for after the draft.
Praying for all the thirsty girls sliding in new NFL rookies DMs with heavy booty & cleavage action pics. Only Jesus can quench your thirst
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) May 1, 2016
And then Eli responded!
Mom never chilling https://t.co/4oGbRZTojb
— Eli Apple (@EliApple13) May 1, 2016
I love this family.
Annie has a long history of being terrific on Twitter.
Hat tip to Deadspin's Billy Haisley, who did a good job tracking down some of Mrs. Apple's greatest hits. She has over 8,000 Twitter followers now, and it's very easy to see why.
Me five hours after my mom calls for a quick word of prayer.... pic.twitter.com/gCCWwozxUa
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 10, 2016
True.
Today my #WCW is any woman who decided to go shopping instead of stabbing someone in the neck with a sharp spoon.
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 13, 2016
Feel that.
Like most addicts Johnny Manziel needs treatment not jail. Stop tryin 2 lock everyone up. Praying he gets help. He's not bad. He's just lost
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 19, 2016
Preach!
NCAA hasn't shown it cares about players or families. New rule only brings financial hardship to players families, but NCAA holds all power
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 10, 2016
Very much down with this view on satellite camps.
Annie gets results on things she cares about.
It used to be that families of college football players had to pay huge sums of money out of pocket to follow around their children for every single game, because the NCAA had a rule against programs helping them cover the cost of travel.
But before Ohio State made an appearance in the College Football Playoff after the 2014 season, Annie pushed hard for a change. She got it, as the NCAA allowed a $1,250 travel cost reimbursement for each parent or guardian of a player. Annie led a parents letter-writing campaign, and Buckeyes coach Urban Meyer lent his support, too. And now, for the Playoff, families get a little help.
The Washington Post's Chuck Culpepper explains:
"Just because you're not poor doesn't mean you're rich," Apple said, soon adding, "You're not poor, but you know, who has twenty thousand dollars to spend on travel for three weeks?"
...
To about 60 percent of the families, Apple estimated, the reimbursement meant the difference between staying home or going to North Texas for an event that became the most-watched cable TV show to date and stirred a 12-year, $7.3-billion TV deal. When Ohio State reached the sport's first four-team playoff, she heard ample talk of "either-or" between New Orleans and North Texas because, she said, "We knew we would beat 'Bama" in New Orleans, a reference to then-No. 1 Alabama.
...
Said Apple, "Knowing that you don't have to go into debt to see your kid play was a load off the mind and made it even easier to enjoy the whole experience."
Apple helped create the change she wanted to see in the world. That's pretty cool.
She wasn't happy about the dessert selection available at the draft, apparently.
Roger Goodell was aware of Annie Apple's disappointment in lack of desserts at Draft in Chicago and sent her a delivery of brownies today.
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) May 6, 2016
Again, it's all about results
And before the draft, she kept her mind off mock drafts by focusing on how her son would present himself on his biggest night.
I turned my attention to how Eli would look on draft day and for his first team press conference. For the draft, I wanted to go with a more classic look and no one does classic better than Tom Ford. A friend of ours who happens to be a gifted tailor gave us the looks, and I chose a classic black suit for the draft and a blue suit for his team press conference. It was kind of weird that I agreed to a blue suit when Eli's projected teams were Miami, Pittsburgh and Oakland, but I wanted to keep it classic and clean.
Eli was offered Rolex watches and diamonds to wear on draft day. I told him, "Dude, you're an unemployed college dropout. You will not be on TV with a Rolex." So we decided if he needed to know what time it was, he could just look at his phone. I bought him a portable charger.