Cam Newton’s outfits, graded by a fashion expert and a fashion idiot

NFL football is back, and with it a renewed spirit of hope. More importantly, it means the return of one of the sport’s most cherished traditions: Trying to figure out what the hell Cam Newton is wearing.

For years, we’ve watched in awe as Newton’s postgame attire showcased his flamboyant, fashion-forward style — an impressive feat for someone who lives in a city where a pastel golf shirt is considered avant-garde. His statement outfits often make bigger headlines than his on-field performance and judging by the looks of things, that’s not changing anytime soon.

Let’s get this out of the way early: I am a self-accepting fashion idiot. Everything I know about men’s style I learned from episodes of Queer Eye. I’m currently writing this while wearing shorts and a graphic tee featuring The Golden Girls.

Thankfully, I know someone who really knows fashion, so I don’t have to pretend I know what I’m talking about.

Rebecca Jennings writes for The Goods over at Vox, where she follows fashion and consumer trends. This season Rebecca (an expert) and I (an idiot) will review each of Newton’s signature looks.

Week 1

Rebecca, fashion expert:

This is, quite frankly, the best postgame interview outfit I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s not even the fact he’s wearing a wide-brim fedora with literal barbed wire around it, or that he accessorized it with a bandana as a headscarf. It’s that he managed to pull it off with a short-sleeve suit. This suit has short sleeves! And you barely even notice them! The whole look is very Western, which is obviously very cool right now. Newton, give your stylist a raise!

10/10

James, fashion idiot:

I love the concept of the short jacket. All I can think about is how many summer weddings I’ve attended where I wish I could appear formal, but also not have to wear long sleeves. I don’t really get the head scarf with the hat. Why does Newton need two layers of head protection? What does he expect will happen in the middle of a press conference that will require so much shade?

The barbed wire around the hat is badass. I’m a big fan of any fashion item that could become an improvised weapon at a moment’s notice.

8/10

Week 2

Rebecca, fashion expert:

The scarf is markedly less charming for me this time around. Whereas with the western hat it looked cohesive and cool, I am … perplexed as to what purpose it’s serving him here. The suit is also simultaneously doing too much and not enough. It looks like he’s stuck in a computer! And it’s too big for him! Clearly he’s going for kooky, but what he gave is cartoon character. But then again, I wouldn’t even be able to tell what kind of character he’d even be. Someone’s mean grandma? Unclear!

0/10

James, fashion idiot:

This was the worst week for Cam, and this look doesn’t make it any better. This is like if Neo entered The Matrix at the precise same time as your grandma was getting her hair set and the two spliced together. The Week 1 headscarf was kind of badass and dangerous, this looks like a regular-ass scarf old people wear to the movies because it’s too cold inside.

Feel Cam some damn food please. I’m not railing on veganism by a longshot, but the dude is wasting away in that suit.

3/10

Week 2 average: 1.5
Week 1 average: 9.0
Total average: 5.25

Would you wear Newton’s outfit? What would you grade it? Tell us in the comments below!