The Las Vegas red carpet for the 2020 NFL Draft is in a dang fountain

The NFL Draft is always trying to do something weird (Remember the failed parrot announcement in 2018 and the orangutan that pissed off Mike Mayock in 2017?), and 2020 will be no different. This year, Vegas is the host in the Raiders’ inaugural season in the desert, so, naturally, the draft’s red carpet will be held in the Bellagio Hotel fountain.

In. The. Fountain.

Here’s a sketch of what the event will look like:

Note that the actual draft won’t happen in the Bellagio. That’s reserved for a space next to Caesars Forum. But the plan for the red carpet, according to the LA Times’ Arash Markazi, is to have players boated over to the floating stage. That is where they’ll be showing off their outfit.

The city will also close down Las Vegas Boulevard (the main road that goes the length of the strip) for three days, according to the Review Journal’s Mick Akers. That’s usually only done for the city’s marathon and New Year’s celebration.

With the street closed, the thousands of fans can gather on the pavement facing the floating stage in the middle of the Bellagio and cheer as Joe Burrow (hopefully) struts a waterproof blazer.

What does this mean?

I’ve been to Las Vegas once, and it was a lengthy seven-day late July experience. Over the course of my week, I was offered drugs a handful of times, but never more than in front of the Bellagio, so I’m inspired to see this level of re-branding.

I fear for the players, however, who will need to boat over to a floating stage on the biggest day of their lives while wearing the most expensive fits of their lives. Suits aren’t typically waterproof. One trip could be devastating. My thoughts also go out to all designers, who’ll need to rethink shoe designs.

In the grand scheme, this means nothing. Until it means something.

What do we want to see?

As an NFL expert, I’m looking to see who really embraces the aquatic theme. I can see myself placing trust in a player decked out in floaties, possibly with a noodle. A snorkel would also do well, but please, future NFL player, do not dive into the Bellagio. It’s not safe. Other items that would be appreciated: goggles, a towel, a swimsuit, and a lifeguard whistle. This can only help your draft stock.

The NFL Draft is long. Really damn long. Thankfully, Vegas is providing a platform to get weird. So players, go on and do it. If you need advice, I advise calling Josh Rosen, resident water-knower, for tips.

Don’t ruin this for us, the fans awaiting a fun meme-filled disaster.