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All hail Andy Reid, the NFL’s most quotable coach

He’s given us some infinite wisdom on coaching, Mozart, cheeseburgers, and more over the years.

NFL: Super Bowl LIV-San Francisco 49ers vs Kansas City Chiefs Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Andy Reid won his first-ever Super Bowl as a head coach when his Kansas City Chiefs beat the San Francisco 49ers. Reid, who has been a head coach since 1999, entered the game at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami as the NFL’s winningest head coach without a Lombardi Trophy. A win in Super Bowl 54 completed his impressive coaching legacy.

Reid is known for his innovation on offense, most recently with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs’ high-powered offense. But coaching styles aside, the man nicknamed “Big Red” is also known for his big personality.

With that comes a lot of great quotes from him throughout the years. These are just a few of his greatest hits.

Rei has offered a lot of insightful wisdom in his years of coaching.

Reid is one of the longest-tenured, and most respected, coaches in the NFL. He started his head coaching career with the Philadelphia Eagles in 1999. He was then hired by the Chiefs in 2013 after the Eagles moved on from Reid following the 2012 season.

After his first season in Kansas City, he gave some advice to prospective coaches.

“Respecting people is an important part of life whether it’s the person doing janitorial work or the person above you,” Reid said, via the Associated Press. “It doesn’t matter who you are, I’m going to respect you.”

He’s expressed that sentiment other times, too, including after the Super Bowl win:

And for those who might be getting older and need to be composed in big moments — like the 61-year-old Reid — he had a PSA about heart health:

He’s always ready with a great one-liner, too.

The morning after winning the Super Bowl, Reid was asked if he slept with the Lombardi Trophy. He responded with a shoutout to his wife, which probably would have been a lot creepier if it was anyone other than Reid saying it:

Reid and his wife, Tammy, have been married for 38 years. Goals!

He’s also had some pretty good quips about football. Now I’m not exactly sure what a tiddlywink contest is exactly, but it’s apparently not something you want to do during a football game:

As Reid and other head coaches know, not every game will be flawless. After Kansas City won a sloppy game against the Detroit Lions in Week 4 of the 2019 season, Reid said “not all of Mozart’s paintings were perfect” because, sure?

This other football quote from him about a four-point stance really needs no comment:

He also once compared himself, unfavorably, to Von Miller:

I’d like to see this race happen in real life, just to be sure this is correct.

The man really loves his cheeseburgers, and talks about this love A LOT.

After the Chiefs’ Super Bowl win, Reid said he was ready to “get the biggest cheeseburger you’ve ever seen ... might be a double.”

He expanded further on his cheeseburger plans at his postgame presser, adding that he was going to get one with extra cheese:

Following up big wins with cheeseburgers is kind of Reid’s thing. It’s how he celebrated the Chiefs’ AFC Championship victory over the Tennessee Titans:

He doesn’t just crave burgers after games — he wants them before games, too:

Reid knows exactly how he likes his burgers. Via Arrowhead Pride, from 2015:

“I like it medium,” Reid said on 610 Sports (24 minute mark here). “It’s hard, I mean, you have to execute that thing the right way. You have to get it to where it’s perfect and juicy when you cut it open but not raw. Then a nice slice of good, fresh Vidalia onion on it. Some mayo and ketchup. A little squirt of mustard but not too much. Pickles, lettuce and tomato and I’m ready to roll. The bun becomes very important. To put all that together and make it perfect, there’s some time involved. That’s where it comes in. You practice, you get it right and then when you bite into it baby, it’s ecstasy right there, so that’s like a good play.”

Speaking of food, Reid often discusses his love for various cuisines.

In the week leading up to Super Bowl 54, Reid compared having his nine grandchildren to ... wait for it ... sweet and sour pork:

“Those nine grandkids are awesome. They make you feel young, and at the same time, they make you feel old. It’s kind of like sweet and sour pork.”

Seeing a pattern here? Reid is a big red meat guy, and as someone who probably eats more red meat on a regular basis than a human should, I really appreciate this about him.

On a related note, please know that Reid apparently once ordered three steaks at one sitting. In 2017, five years after Reid had coached in Philadelphia, Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie said Reid did it the first time the two met at dinner:

A regional VP of Del Frisco’s steakhouse, Rich Furino, amazingly confirmed the story to NBC Philadelphia:

“Basically, when the server comes up and gives their speel, they describe the different cuts of meat, flavor profiles, and textures, he described them to Andy and said, ‘Would you like the ribeye, the New York strip, or the filet mignon?’” Furino said on a radio appearance. “And Andy said, ‘Yes.’ Like yes to all three. That’s kind of how it got started. They put all three in front of him. He put down about 90% of them.”

Reid is officially my hero after reading this story. As for the head coach’s side of the story, he claims he doesn’t remember doing it, but will take credit for it anyway:

“That’s what he said? He’s too funny,” Reid said on a podcast with Adam Schefter. “Well, I might have. It might have been for Joe, Jeffrey, and Andy. Other than that, I don’t remember ordering three steaks. I’ll take credit for it though.”

Years before that, he put down a 40-ounce steak in 19 minutes when he and current NFL Network analyst Steve Mariucci were assistants with the Green Bay Packers.

“When we were rooming together at Green Bay, our wives weren't moved there yet, so we’d go out to eat every night,” Mariucci said on the Rich Eisen show in 2015. “We went to this one place, this Prime Quarters, a steak place, and if you could eat a 40-ounce steak and the salad, and garlic bread, and other stuff around it — if you could eat it under an hour, you get your next meal free, and you get your picture on the wall with a big bib, and that baker’s hat or whatever it is. Andy finished his meal in 19 minutes, and I finished mine in 30 and we are still on the wall over there at that restaurant.”

Amazingly, that photo exists on Twitter:

He doesn’t exclusively just eat or talk about red meat, though.

Before his 2019 Super Bowl-winning season with the Chiefs, Reid’s biggest offseason accomplishment was eating chile relleno, which is a Mexican dish:

In 2013 when Peyton Manning was still in the league, Reid compared what Manning can do in football with what Reid can do at a buffet.

“I would tell you he’s talented. There’s talent. You and I could do this at a buffet, but he does it on the football field, and there’s some athletic ability that takes place there.”

Same, Andy. Same.

How he eats Snickers bars is especially innovative, just like his schemes:

Who doesn’t want to try that now?

It’s really hard not to love a coach who can crank out one-liners like these. He’s not going anywhere, and neither are the Chiefs, so expect more of the ever-quotable Andy Reid in the future.