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The commercials of Super Bowl LV had an ‘old’ feel to them

Sensing a theme in all these ads

This was supposed to be a ranking of various commercials during Super Bowl LV. But the first ad of the first break was for a movie that dominated my thoughts for the rest of the day.

M. Night Shyamalan made a film in which everyone seems to age at a ridiculous rate. Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but there’s likely a twist at some point. I have no idea if this movie is watchable or not, and I don’t just mean in the sense that it will be safe to go to theaters any time soon. I was too distracted by the foreboding trailer, building to a climax of the film’s title being shown on screen.

In a Super Bowl featuring 43-year-old Tom Brady, coached by 68-year-old Bruce Arians, this was a little too on the nose.

But then I started seeing all the ensuing commercials through the lens of being old. No, I’m not talking about ads for Metamucil, but it seemed like almost everywhere I turned there was a commercial for the aged.

Scott’s and Miracle-Gro were doing some sort of giveaway or something. I’m not really sure, but they had John Travolta dancing, which has been a thing for more than 40 years. But that didn’t signify the oldness of the ad. No, that came when Travolta’s daughter was trying to guide him how to set up his phone to record.

We’ve all been there, John.

Bud Light even got into the act, bringing back many characters from their various Super Bowl commercials past. The Bud Knight met yet another demise.

I’ll be honest. I missed those “Real men of genius” commercials. That ad campaign apparently began in 1998. Where did the time go?

Even Nick Jonas, for something called Dexcom, snapped his fingers and all of a sudden he turned septuagenarian. Are we all just living in a Shyamalan movie? Now that would be a twist.

Paramount Plus had a series of commercials all throughout the game, highlighting some sort of expedition by many of the characters on their various properties. Oh great, just what we need, another streaming service.

In one of those Paramount ads, somebody mentioned a crack in the ice, which prompted very familiar snickering from two of the most beloved television idiots of our lifetime.

Sure, I laughed. Because having a childish sense of humor makes me feel young. But then I realized that ‘Beavis and Butt-Head’ premiered on MTV on March 8, 1993, and I quickly turned to dust.

While most of the game just made me feel old, there was one commercial that was the clear winner on Super Bowl Sunday. This Toyota ad, featuring 13-time Paralympic gold medalist Jessica Long and the story of her getting adopted, was inspirational.

I may be old, but these tears are new.