The NHL Awards are all over in Las Vegas, and after a few hours of embarrassingly dealing with host Jay Mohr's terrible jokes, we have some folks taking home some hardware. That's why we're here, after all.
First up, the big awards: Tim Thomas shocked nobody by taking home the Vezina Trophy as league's top goaltender, after putting together one of the best seasons in the history of the game. He's the first goalie to win the Stanley Cup, the Conn Smythe and the Vezina since Bernie Parent of the Philadelphia Flyers did it in 1975.
Corey Perry shocked everybody and won the Hart Memorial Trophy as most valuable player, beating out Daniel Sedin and Martin St. Louis for the award. He was a huge piece in the Anaheim Ducks' quest to clinch a playoff berth, and he was clearly choked up at the honor during his acceptance speech.
Nicklas Lidstrom took home his seventh Norris Trophy, controversially beating out Shea Weber and Zdeno Chara for the honor. Lidstrom might not have been the best defenseman this season, but hey, it's Nicklas Lidstrom. Can we really complain about him winning this award again?
Zdeno Chara did win the Mark Messier Leadership Award, however, so it's not like he went home without any hardware. And besides, he has a Stanley Cup, so whatever.
Ryan Kesler finally won a Selke Trophy, beating Pavel Datsyuk out for the award that the Red Wing always seems to win. It was Kesler's third trip to Vegas as a nominee, but it'll be his first time leaving as a winner. In fact, Kesler blew away the competition this year, picking up 1,179 points in the voting as compared to 476 for Jonathan Toews and 348 for Datsuyk.
Dan Bylsma of the Pittsburgh Penguins is the Jack Adams Award winner as coach of the year, and with the way the team played in the latter part of the season without Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, it's kind of easy to see why.
The Calder Trophy was perhaps the most up for grabs trophy of the night, and it went to Jeff Skinner, the wunderkind from the Carolina Hurricanes. He still looks 12, despite all the boobs and beer around him in Vegas.
Mike Gillis, David Poile and Steve Yzerman were the nominees for the GM of the Year award, and Gillis took the home the hardware after steering his Canucks to the best record in the league and the President's Trophy. In fact, he mopped the floor with the competition, winning by 35 votes.
The award is voted on by the league's GM's, and Gillis has a lot of experience around the league as a former player agent. Not that Gillis and the Canucks don't deserve it, but well, relationships help.
Ian Laperriere of the Philadelphia Flyers didn't play a game in 2010-11, but he took home the Masterton Trophy anyway after dealing with post-concussion symptoms and trying to play through them to win a Stanley Cup, he's more than deserving. The same could be said for Ray Emery and Daymond Langkow, of course.
Martin St. Lewis won the Lady Byng Trophy as the most gentlemanly forward in the league, according to the presenters, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Some guy named Martin St. Louis won the award in 2010, not sure if it's the same dude. (Seriously, these Awards are kind of embarrassing. Are we this Bush League?)
The Ted Lindsay Award, also known as the Hart Trophy voted on by the players who actually play the game, was presented to Daniel Sedin, who scored the most points in the league this season.
Vote totals for the top five on each award:
NORRIS: Lidstrom (736), Weber (727), Chara (688), Visnovsky (573), Yandle (312)
SELKE: Kesler (1.179), Toews (476), Datsuyk (348), Bergeron (296), Malhotra (229)
ADAMS: Bylsma (196), Vigneault (169), Trotz (80), Boucher (54), Lemaire (27)
CALDER: Skinner (1,055), Couture (908), Grabner (497), Crawford (336), Carlson (188)
GM OF THE YEAR: Gillis (96), Yzerman (61), Poile (55), Murray (35), Shero (26)
LADY BYNG: St. Louis (994), Lidstrom (464), Eriksson (347), Marleau (241), Toews (233)
VEZINA: Thomas (104), Rinne (84), Luongo (33), Lundqvist (23), Price (10)
HART: Perry (1,043), Sedin (960), St. Louis (332), Rinne (175), Thomas (171)
For more coverage of the event, follow SB Nation's writers on the ground: Bob from Canes Country on Twitter at @CanesCountry, Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Twitter at @AnaheimCalling and Jen, also from Anaheim Calling on Twitter at @WhatWouldJNDo