This is just silly. Former NHL player Wojtek Wolski, who most recently played for the Washington Capitals but is now a member Torpedo Nizhny Novgorod of the KHL, scored a hat trick in 1:46 on Monday. That is, as you might imagine, a KHL record.
Torpedo won the game, 3-2, and Wolski now has 11 goals in 14 games this season. He had 19 over 54 games last season for Torpedo.
This isn't the fastest natural hat trick ever. After all, a kid in Ontario once scored three goals in 10 seconds, and the NHL record stands at 21 seconds, accomplished by Bill Mosienko of the Blackhawks back in 1952. Jean Beliveau of the Canadiens once did it in 44 seconds.
But in the modern era at the pro level, where opponents are bigger and faster, this Wolski hat trick is certainly one of the fastest. Bobby Ryan's 2009 natural hat trick clocked in at 2:21, which is the closest recent one we can think of.