NHL doesn’t want another John Scott at the All-Star Game, so don’t vote for these players a lot

The NHL remembers what happened with John Scott and their NHL All-Star Game fan vote last year. They’re just selective about it.

They could’ve remembered how fun it was or how great the moment of watching an unsung guy get his 10 minutes of hockey fame.

Nah. They remembered how embarrassing it was (from their point of view) that a no-name (see: not marketable) player stole all the headlines and instituted some new eligibility rules for the 2017 All-Star fan vote that starts on Dec. 1.

Only, it appears they left some big loopholes. Here’s the gist of the eligibility rules:

• He must be on an NHL Club's active roster as of Nov. 1.
• If a player is sent to the American Hockey League (AHL) or any other minor league team between Nov. 1 and 5 p.m. ET on Jan. 26, the player is not eligible. Unless it’s a conditioning stint for an injury.

Huh. You’d be surprised to learn there are a lot of John Scott-esque players who meet that criteria! Some of them are just good stories. Some of them are punchlines for fans. Some of them are grinders who are good people and would have a blast at the event just like Scott.

So here’s a non-comprehensive list of players you should consider carefully when submitting NHL All-Star fan votes this year. Note: We are not telling you to vote for these people. We, at SB Nation, are in no way encouraging you to vote for these unconventional candidates as many times as you possibly can when the 2017 NHL All-Star Game Fan Vote opens on Dec. 1 on NHL.com.

The “Actually Would Be Cool” Division

Devin Setoguchi, F, Los Angeles Kings

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

Setoguchi’s rise as the San Jose Sharks’ best young player when he scored 31 times in 2008-09 was as steep as his fall. Alcoholism derailed his career and his life, making his comeback attempt with the Kings this year a truly inspiring story worthy of an All-Star vote, even if his numbers don’t jump off the stat page just yet. A surprise All-Star captaincy would probably mean a lot to a guy who felt pretty alone and low the last few years, and it’s a campaign most would get behind pretty quickly.

Steve Ott, LW, Detroit Red Wings

Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

Ah, Steve Ott. The hero of the late-aughts Dallas Stars. That’s not sarcasm. We loved him. The teams ranged from middling to depressing, but “Otter” was always there to rally the team and crowd behind him with a big hit or timely goal. He was essentially a poor man’s Brenden Morrow, who was actually great. Ott was never great, but he was decent enough and great at irritating the heck out of opposing teams. Admittedly, he’s mostly stuck to the latter in the last five years as he bounced around the league.

So, naturally, you’re hard-pressed to find fans who actually like him or see him as anything more than a standard face puncher past his NHL shelf life. Off the ice he seems like a genuinely good dude who loves his daughter. Hm. That sounds familiar.

Oh, and did you know he was once fifth in the league in faceoffs?

Still not convinced? Fine. Here’s a couple of funny GIFs.

See? If you vote Steve Ott into the All-Star Game, you’re bound to enjoy watching him make it pretty entertaining.

The “Hilarity” Division

Kris Russell, D, Edmonton Oilers

Photo by Codie McLachlan/Getty Images

I know, I know. He was a big name on free agency opening day but didn’t get signed until Oct. 7. That’s just because teams were afraid of how good he was, IMO.

You see, Kris Russell doesn’t need your fancy stats. Look at this article. And this one. And this one. People love him and recognize his greatness. He was particularly good against the St. Louis Blues. This article proves it.

And so does this play in a critical moment last season.

Amazing. The Oilers this year are 8-3-1 with Russell in the lineup. Without him? 2-5-0. He’s a winner. He would be a worthy successor to John Scott’s All-Star throne.

Jamie Oleksiak, D, Dallas Stars

Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images

That is not a picture of Jamie Oleksiak. That is a picture of his sister, Penny. Penny Oleksiak is a gold medalist Olympic swimmer for Canada. Jamie Oleksiak has never won a medal at the Olympics.

But the Olympic blood runs in his family, so maybe someday! A vote for Jamie Oleksiak would be a vote for an Olympian relative. You can’t beat that.

Also, at 6’7, Jamie would be the tallest player at the All-Star Game. They could hold a dunk contest for once. And he could use the playing time: Dallas has had a porous blue line for years, but Oleksiak has yet to lock down his spot on it even this year. The Dallas Stars would support this instead of risking him on waivers just to send him to the minors.

Actually, just vote for Penny. She’s great.

Tom Sestito, face-puncher, Pittsburgh Penguins

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Ever wonder why Sidney Crosby is having such a strong start to the season? No, it’s not because he’s an elite, once-in-a-generation talent. Don’t be silly. This is a serious discussion.

No, it’s because Tom Sestito is on the roster. You know, the guy who led the league in penalty minutes (213) three years ago? Yeah. No wonder Crosby can score so much. Everyone’s afraid of what Sestito will say if they touch him. What a guy. What a glue guy. If he’s on a roster full of All-Stars, just imagine what that team could do. They could score lots of goals and stuff.

Also in Consideration

I now turn to our SB Nation hockey bloggers for their suggestions.

Frankie Corrado, Toronto Maple Leafs

Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

El Seldo, Pension Plan Puppets: “After being claimed off waivers from Vancouver last year, Corrado played 39 games for the Leafs and this year has suited up for only one. Corrado deserves to be in the All-Star Game because he's showing he' s an All-Star Fan, showing up to every Leafs game and practice despite knowing he'll never play for them. He's content to sit in the press box, eat all the popcorn he can, and be available to fill in for other players at game day skates so they can have a rest and be prepared to play.

Frank Corrado, always there for the team, even when they don't want him.”

Dalton Prout, Columbus Blue Jackets

Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images

Eric Seeds, Jackets Cannon: “As far as current Blue Jackets go, watching Dalton Prout commit turnover after turnover in front of his goalie in the All-Star Game would be hysterical.”

Tom Pyatt, F, Ottawa Senators

Photo by Derek Leung/Getty Images

Ross Arnold, Silver Seven: “The funniest for Ottawa fans would be Tom Pyatt. He's been hailed as a ‘bona-fide’ NHLer- more than once, despite being a drag on possession and scoring except for the first three games of the season. And seriously, if you try to complain, someone will say ‘but he's a proven bona-fide NHLer.’”

Luca Sbisa, D, Vancouver Canucks

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

Kent Basky, Nucks Misconduct: “A lot of people would expect the Canucks’ nominee in this to be Derek Dorsett. I get that. After all, he's a regular sized version of Scott who can skate, and ... well that's about all the nice things I have to say about him. And while Dorsett would be funny, people are missing the real gem here: Luca Sbisa.

Now, I know what you're thinking. ‘Kent, Sbisa's not hilariously bad, he's just bad.’

First, I say you need to watch him more, and second, his nomination is not to get him in the game. I want your help to force the Canucks to send him to the AHL, if even for just a few days, since the only thing that sees him get benched is getting injured. The Canucks are bloody awful. Give us this. Please.”